


Hold My Hand

by Earthprincess4



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019), Sanditon - Jane Austen, Welcome to Sanditon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Regency, F/M, Happily Ever After, Multi, Regency Romance, Sanditon, Sidlotte - Sanditon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26440135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earthprincess4/pseuds/Earthprincess4
Summary: **NOW COMPLETE**Regency era, alternative story about Charlotte Heywood and Sidney Parker.Sidney's mother is pushing him to marry and marry well to save the family from ruin. His pursuit is Mrs. Campion, a wealthy widow with a horrible personality. On the verge of asking her to marry him, he goes on a hunting trip to clear his head. What happens on this hunting trip changes his path in life forever.Sidney POVI see Sidney being closer to twenty-five in this story and Charlotte being about nineteen or twenty. Sidney is not as cynical and doesn't have that hard exterior personality we are used to. To be honest, he's kind of a mama's boy. He's lived a sheltered and comfortable life.When I first had the idea for this story, I pictured a bear attacking Sidney. But doing research I found that bears are not common wild animals in England. I'm American and live in a state where bears are common. In doing research, I found that in the regency era there were wild cats that were referred to as phantom cats, panthers, jaguars, or leopards. Although, some accounts claim there is no such thing and stories were exaggerated. Anyway, for story purposes, this phantom cat exists.
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 146
Kudos: 298





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you follow me on Twitter, you might know I've been struggling with staying focused on #ranchfic and #firefic because I have all these other stories trying to take over my thoughts. Instead of trying to fight them, I decided I had to write it. I'm not exactly sure how to keep track of three stories now, but this particular story will only be about four or five chapters long. It's a short and sweet story. The Fire Station will be complete in about five more chapters also. And Heywood Equestrian Stables has about ten more chapters to go. Then I'll be venturing into an alternative second season than the one I already wrote.

I rolled my eyes for the hundredth time while my mother swirled around me. “It’s the event of the season. Every eligible young woman in London society will be in Sanditon for the annual regatta and evening ball. You must look your best.”

“Mother, I’m not going to a ball to find an eligible woman. If I attend at all, it’ll be to drink and enjoy the night with friends.”

“Why must we have this conversation over and over again?” she complained. “With your father gone, your brother making terrible investments, and your youngest brother…well, not caring for the finer sex, you are our last hope. You must marry well. You must marry a woman with a fortune.”

I slumped down in a chair and stared at her incorrigibly. “Why is this put on my shoulders? I have no interest in marrying.”

My mother sat down next to me and sighed as if she understood my dilemma. “I know it’s not fair to ask such a thing of you. But you are our only hope to save our family. Without a suitable match, our family will be lost.”

I sighed and rolled my eyes again. As much as she may hate it, she was putting the pressure on me regardless. I must marry and I must marry well. We travelled all the way from London to spend a week in this Sanditon sea-bathing community to snare a bride.

My mother stood up and started circling the room once again. She went on and on about which women I was to approach first to try and charm. It seemed more like selling my soul to the highest bidder to me. I was to be bound to whoever had the largest fortune. 

“Mrs. Campion has just been made a widow with a large fortune. She is who I’d like to see you pursuing first. Your brother will introduce you. She’s slightly older than you, but not intolerably older.”

“How much older?” I asked.

“She’s nearly forty,” she said. I rolled my eyes and grumbled. To marry a woman nearly fifteen years my senior was absolutely ridiculous. “I’m told she is still a beauty. I am sure you will find her appealing.”

“I fear I may find a cow more appealing,” I mocked. “Is she the only option?”

“There are others. But it must be a woman with a sizeable fortune to get us out of debt. You can’t marry for love, my dear boy.” She patted me on the cheek and continued to rush about the room. I stared out the window, ignoring everything else she was saying and dreamed of a simpler time. A time when my father was still alive and instead of hunting for a bride, I’d be hunting for game.

Later in the day, dressed in our finest, we attended the ever-popular regatta. Tom, Arthur and I entered the race as a rowing team. Our mother thought it would be a great way for the women watching the race to get their first glimpse of an eligible bachelor. Come to find out, it’s what many of the rowing teams were attempting. Finding a bride was much like a hunting trip. We were all after one thing and whoever had the sharpest eye would snag the game first. I found the entire institution insufferable. I did not wish to marry even if my family was in financial ruin. 

My brother’s and I took our position in the regatta and waited for the sound of the gun to begin. When the time came for us to row, I found myself doing most of the work. My brothers were not much help at all, and we were losing by a lot. I was no quitter, though, so I rowed on and pushed through the pain to get us to the finish line. We were nowhere near winners, but we did finish the race while others did not, getting stuck in marshes or losing steam halfway through the race and unable to finish. 

We were congratulated for a job well done by many onlookers I did not recognize. Many women dressed in their Sunday best and long pelisses adorned us with handkerchiefs or small flowers picked from the fields. Some merely gave us kind words of acknowledgement. It was rather odd to be sought after while I was supposed to be the one seeking a bride.

“That is Mrs. Campion,” Tom pointed out. He gestured to a finely dressed woman with a feathered hat atop her head sipping at a glass of wine. Mother was right, she wasn’t intolerable. To be quite honest, she was pleasant to the eye given her age. I found myself surprisingly attracted to her. “I will introduce you. I had the pleasure of meeting her in London a week back.”

He walked me over to her and called out her name to get her attention. “Yes, can I help you?” she said, dismissing my brother as just another man in the crowd rather than someone she had met recently. “Tom Parker, at your service, ma’am. We met in London a week ago at the Staulmann dinner party.”

“Oh, yes. How could I forget,” she said, laughing as if she thought the memory humorous. I was already starting to have a bad taste in my mouth from this woman. 

“Allow me to introduce my younger brother, Sidney Parker,” Tom introduced, patting me on the back as if pushing me forward. I was never good with introductions, especially to women. Was I to bow? Or take their hand in mine? Or even lay a kiss upon their gloved fingers? 

She looked me up and down with a sly grin on her face. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance,” I said.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Parker,” she said, curtsying in front of me. I attempted a pleasant smile, but I don’t know if it came across that way. 

“Tell me, Mr. Parker,” she began. “Do you plan to attend the ball tonight?”

“Indeed, we do.”

“Well, perhaps we will run into each other again at the ball,” she said. “Excuse us.”

Tom and I bowed as she walked past us. “That went exceedingly well, brother. She is already eating out of the palm of your hand.”

“Easy, Tom. I’m not sure I find her very appealing. She has a snobbery about her I can’t seem to stomach. The way she dismissed you as if she didn’t know who you were and then laughed at you. That’s not someone I want to tie myself to.”

“Nonsense!” my mother said from behind us. “She is a perfectly good match. I don’t care if she finds our entire family appalling. As long as she falls for you and accepts a proposal. That’s all that matters at the moment.”

“Mother,” I whined, rolling my eyes yet again at the way she was pushing this union.

“You will charm her, dear boy. You must.” She patted me on the cheek and followed a group of women towards the tents where everyone was communing.

“Do as mother says, Sidney,” Tom added. “You can’t let her down. She’s depending on you.” 

I found myself wandering along the shoreline, attempting to get away from the crowds of people. I was never much of a social person and found my time better spent hunting in the vast silence of the woods. How I longed to be hunting rather than here in this dreadful town trying to snare a wife to save my family.

In the evening, I returned to our rooms at the newly built Terrace and dressed for the ball. Mother was beside herself trying to make her sons look presentable. As soon as she turned away, I loosened the cravat around my neck. “If you loosen it one more time, I may just strangle you with it,” she said, even though her back was to me. 

“If you do, who will save you then?” I teased.

She turned around and once again tied the cravat in the perfect bow. “Precisely, my son. Who will save your dear mother then?”

I sighed frustratingly, but I didn’t touch the cravat again. 

Tom and I walked into the assembly rooms and glanced around the room. Mother followed behind, doing her best to appear as the elegant woman she was known to be. She took Tom’s arm as he led her in. “I beg of you, Sidney. Do not leave Mrs. Campion’s side all night. If you do, another gentleman is bound to swoop in and claim your prize. Find her and ask her to dance.” 

I took a deep breath as my brother led our mother down the stairs and towards a small settee along the wall. I searched the room, trying to find my prey.

“Looking for someone in particular?” a voice asked from behind me. 

I turned around to find Mrs. Campion dressed in a wine-colored gown with gold trim. I gave her a pleasant smile and bowed my head. “Mrs. Campion. Pleasure to see you again.”

“And you, Mr. Parker.” She curtsied and I offered my arm to walk her into the room. She graciously took my arm and allowed me to walk her down the steps to the dance floor. 

“Would you care to dance?” I asked.

“I’d be honored,” she answered. I led her to the dance floor and suddenly had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was not the greatest dancer, having a hard time remembering the steps to the different dances. I closed my eyes for a moment as we lined up across from each other. I tried desperately to remember which dance we were about to do. When I opened my eyes again, Mrs. Campion was watching me intently. I took a deep breath and decided I would do my best to follow the man to my right if I started to forget the steps. 

Thankfully, I did a decent job at remembering once we got to dancing. I spun her around, offered her the back of my hand to rest hers upon, led her through the group of dancers, and back up the line to our spots. At the end of the dance, I bowed as she curtsied. I glanced at my mother and brother from across the room. They both were nodding their heads in approval. 

I did as my mother said and stayed near Mrs. Campion most of the night. I talked with her friends, danced another dance with her, and offered to get her a drink from time to time. 

“Tell me, Mr. Parker,” she began. “What do you think of Sanditon?”

I hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. “I’ve only been here mere hours. I can’t say I have much of an opinion on the town yet. From what I’ve seen of it, it’s most appealing,” I answered.

“I find it rather mundane,” a woman named Mrs. Maudsley replied. She was a close friend to Mrs. Campion, as she took it upon herself to point out. I understood that to mean she would persuade Mrs. Campion away from my pursuit if she found me subpar. 

“I’m afraid I must agree with you,” Mrs. Campion said. “Today’s festivities were quite boring, to say the least. And to mingle with the lower class so freely? I’ve never seen such a thing. Sanditon is much more relaxed when it comes to station. I find it rather disrespectful to the upper class. Do they not have any dignity?”

“Goodness, yes! I about fainted when a man dressed in mere rags stood next to me to watch the regatta. I was terrified of being assaulted by him,” Mrs. Maudsley added dramatically.

“I didn’t seem bothered by it. In fact, I was able to talk with a few of the men before the regatta. Fine men live here in Sanditon,” I defended. For whatever reason, it bothered me the way they so easily dismissed the lower class. I, too, was on the verge of losing me station. Would they so quickly change their opinion of me?

“I’ve yet to try the sea-bathing,” Mrs. Campion said, changing the subject. “I’m quite inclined to give it a try. What about you, Mr. Parker. Have you tried sea-bathing?”

“I can’t say that I have. Perhaps I should during my visit,” I answered.

“Perhaps we can try it together tomorrow afternoon,” she offered.

“I believe I’d be inclined to join you.” 

Her friends giggled as if I just said something amusing. “I find sea-bathing to be ostentatious,” Mrs. Maudsley added. “Men swimming nude out in the sea, for goodness sake! What will happen next? Women walking the beaches in nothing but their shifts?”

“I believe the women wear bathing dresses and are carried out to the sea in bathing machines,” I corrected. She clearly did not like what I had to say. Her nose flared and eyes narrowed as she considered her next statement. I found the women difficult to talk with. They seemed to find fault in just about everything. 

“Do you see Miss Brereton?” Mrs. Campion ridiculed rudely, pointing out a woman across the room. “She shouldn’t even be allowed here.”

“I wouldn’t be caught dead in society in her condition,” Mrs. Maudsley scorned. 

I turned to look at the woman they were mocking. “What is the matter with her?” I asked.

“She is in a delicate state,” Mrs. Maudsley whispered. 

“An unmarried woman having relations and getting herself pregnant should not be setting foot in society as if she belongs here. She’s nothing more than a common whore,” Mrs. Campion added. 

“I hear she was having relations with a married man, of all things,” Mrs. Maudsley added. 

“How truly dreadful for her. You would think she would know better than to put herself in such a position,” Mrs. Campion said. 

They continued to speak harshly of the woman. I felt sorry for her. She seemed alone in the world without a kind soul to give her comfort. I almost felt the urge to ask her to dance.

“What is you like to do for fun, Mr. Parker?” Mrs. Campion asked. I was thankful she changed the subject again. 

“I enjoy hunting,” I answered.

“Goodness!” Mrs. Maudsley gasped.

“Surely you can’t be serious,” Mrs. Campion said. “I find the sport to be rather barbaric. How men find enjoyment in shooting an animal is beyond me.”

“It’s not always for enjoyment,” I said defensively. “The animals we hunt are typically eaten at the dinner table.”

Both of them gasped as if this was news to them. “I find this conversation rather grotesque,” Mrs. Maudsley said. “I think I will make my way to the refreshment table. Care to join me, Eliza?”

“I will be right there,” she answered. Mrs. Maudsley gave me one last look of disgust before walking away. 

“I do apologize if I offended either of you,” I said. “It was not my intent.”

“I am not offended so easily,” she answered. “I do look forward to our sea-bathing adventure tomorrow, Mr. Parker.” She placed her hand on my arm for the briefest of moments before walking across the room and joining Mrs. Maudsley. 

I made my way across the room towards my mother. Tom was on the dance floor with a woman I did not recognize. He seemed to be having fun, though. 

“Things are going well, yes?” she asked. 

“I am to join Mrs. Campion for sea-bathing tomorrow,” I answered annoyingly. She nearly squealed with delight at my good fortune. 

“And do you find her to your liking?” she asked, hopeful I would find her pleasing.

“She’s tolerable,” I answered. To be honest, I didn’t care for the woman the more time I spent with her. She seemed critical of everything and my earlier observation of being snobbish was a definite truth.

“You will grow to love her. I’m sure of it,” My mother assured. “You will have to move quickly. Perhaps you should invite her to dinner after your sea-bathing excursion. After dinner you can present her with your grandmother’s ring.”

“I’m to ask her to marry me tomorrow?” I questioned. “I barely met the woman.”

“We have to move quickly, my son. She is being pursued by a number of men. You will have time to get to know her better once you are married,” she said. 

I grumbled and washed my hand over my face. I was finding it hard to stomach a conversation with the woman. Now I was to ask her to marry me? “When I marry, I am buying the largest estate I can find and will spend my days hunting rather than inside with that woman,” I promised.

“As you wish, son,” she agreed. “Now go quickly and ask her to join us for dinner tomorrow night.”

I was thrust back into the crowded room and made my way towards Mrs. Campion once again to ask her to dinner. For the rest of the evening, I quietly stomached more ridicule of just about everyone in the room from Mrs. Campion and Mrs. Maudsley. I found as the evening came to an end, I was thankful to be away from Eliza Campion. How on earth was I to marry the woman if I couldn’t even spend a few hours with her? 

In the morning, I rolled in the bed and moaned at the pain I felt in my head. I had far too much to drink at the ball and was feeling it. I needed some fresh air to clear my head. I got up and dressed in hunting attire. Grabbing my rifle, I headed to the common room where our cook had made quite the spread for the morning meal. Tom and my mother were already sat at the table. 

“Why are you dressed as if you are planning to hunt?” my mother asked.

“I need to get out and get some fresh air. I won’t be gone long,” I replied, taking a seat at the table and grabbing a piece a bread. I grabbed another and stuffed it in my pocket for later. 

“You are to meet Mrs. Campion later this afternoon. I’ve already ordered a grand feast for the evening meal,” my mother reminded. For whatever reason, Mrs. Campion found me appealing enough to not only spend an afternoon together on the beach for sea-bathing, even if we weren’t allowed on the same beach for the actual swimming portion of the event. She also agreed to join my family for dinner afterwards. If my mother had her way, I’d be presenting Mrs. Campion with a ring at the end of the night.

“I won’t be gone long,” I promised, giving her a kiss on the cheek. I left the house and saddled up a horse. I was not familiar with these parts of the country, but I was an avid hunter and felt as if I could find my way around. 

As I got farther and farther into the trees, I found myself struggling to find my way. The brush was thick, and the tree covered canopy made the forest dark and gloomy. I noticed movement in the distance and grinned at my good fortune. Perhaps I could bring a rabbit back with me for a rabbit stew to go along with the evening meal Mrs. Campion was planning to attend. Even though I was supposed to be actively pursuing her, a part of me was hopeful she would find me less than appealing and I could be free to find someone else. Even if I found someone with a smaller fortune with a kind heart, it was better than Mrs. Campion. 

If only father were still alive. He would never put so much pressure on me to marry to save the family. During our hunting excursions as a boy, we talked a lot about finding a woman I found to be comfortable with. Someone I could be my truest self around. She was, after all, the woman I would have to spend my life with. He always said the wealthier the woman, the more wicked her heart. I was beginning to understand his meaning. I missed the simpler times when my father was still alive. 

I dismounted my horse, and slowly moved through the trees towards the rustling coming from under the brush. I crept down low and readied my gun to fire. Slowly, a rabbit poked its head out from under the bush. I smiled and aimed my gun. Just as I was about to pull the trigger, a low growl overhead caught me off guard. I turned my head abruptly to see a large cat in a tree above me. My breath caught in my lungs at the sight of what I could only imagine was a panther. I tried to turn my gun towards the animal, but he lunged at me first, knocking me to the ground and making my gun fall to my side. I put my arms out in defense as the animal attacked me with its claws and large teeth. I screamed out in fear as the animal intended to kill me.

As I attempted to fight the animal off, I heard a gunshot in the distance. The cat ran off, leaving me for dead. I lay motionless, on the brink of death. My breath was shallow as I barely held on to life. I turned my head at the sound of something approaching. A girl, wielding a gun in her hands, kneeled down to me. 

“Are you alright?” she asked frantically.

My eyes fluttered closed as I was losing my ability to stay awake. 

When I woke up again, I was in a small cabin with a roaring fire. I laid across a bed as the girl I saw in the woods leaned over me. I didn’t remember anything after the attack and even now my body was so weak, I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. “What happened?” I whispered.

“It’s alright,” she said. “Just try to sleep.”

My body was shaking uncontrollably despite the warmth coming from the fire. I sensed I would not see out the night. I had lost too much blood and was too badly injured to survive. As death approached, I thought of my mother. How I longed to have her here holding my hand like she did when I was a boy and I came down with fever. 

“Can I ask a favor?” I breathed.

“What is it?” she asked, coming close to me so I could see her better. 

“I know it may sound a bit forward, but could you hold my hand?” I asked breathlessly. “My mother always held my hand throughout the night when I was ill. Would you give me that same comfort?”

“Of course,” she said, slipping her bare hand into mine. I squeezed her hand as tight as I could in my current condition and brought it to my chest. My eyes flickered a few times before they closed for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to take a moment to reassure everyone I am not giving up on my ranchfic or firefic stories. I know many of you read all of my stories and have been extremely supportive of everything I write. I can't even begin to tell all of you how thankful I am to each and every one of you. Once I posted this story, I feel as if everyone went into panic mode. I know it's been a while since I updated my fireman story. There's just a lot that happens in the next chapter. It's nearly done and I'm hoping to update in the next day or two. I did post a chapter of ranchfic the day I posted this story. I am also working on the next chapter of that to hopefully be posted this weekend. I have a definite plan and order of events for each story, so I highly doubt there will ever come a day where I abandon the story completely. Sometimes new stories pop into my head and they sort of take over my thoughts, which is why this story was written. I promise, it's going to be short. Seriously, maybe 2-3 more chapters. It's a short story without a whole lot of drama. Ranchfic and Firefic are still very much alive and well in my thoughts and are being written. 
> 
> I do hope everyone enjoys this story as well, though.

When my eyes opened again, I was sure I had died. I was prepared for the afterlife, whatever that may be. I struggled to focus on anything around me from the grittiness built up in my eyes. I felt as if I was being weighed down by bricks and every breath or movement I took was excruciating. I questioned if I was dead after all. I couldn’t imagine death being this painful. 

I attempted to lift my head and see where I was. I seemed to be in the same cabin I remembered the last time I was awake. The room was dark, only the fire illuminating the room. Although looking out the small window on the other side of the room, made me believe it was midday. The fire was small compared to what it had been when I saw it last. I looked at my bare chest and stomach and saw multiple bandages, some covered in blood still. My shallow breaths indicated I was, in fact, still alive.

The girl I had seen before came through the door carrying a gun and a small rabbit in her hand. 

“You’re awake,” she said, walking over to the small table and sitting the things in her hands down. I attempted to sit up further and winced at the pain. She rushed over to my bedside. “Don’t try to move too much. I don’t want your wounds to open up again.” I laid back down and she started to look over the bandaged areas across my chest and stomach.

“Where am I?” I asked, taking a moment to truly look at the girl from my memories. She was small, a bit plain with large expressional eyes. Her unkempt, dark, wavy hair flowed freely against her shoulders.

“This is my family’s hunting cabin,” she answered. 

“What happened?” 

“Do you not remember the panther?” she asked. The memories of the large black cat attacking me filled my memory. “When I heard you scream, I ran towards the sound and fired a shot to scare the beast away. He had already done enough damage by the time I reached you. I did my best to bandage you up using strips of my shift and petticoat.”

“How did I get here?” I asked again. This small girl in front of me couldn’t have possibly carried me all the way to the cabin. 

She hesitated for a moment and looked away with an uneasy expression. “I had to drag you by the feet with my horse. Then I dragged you through the cabin and into the bed by hand.” The mention of dragging me made me recognize the ache across my back and not just my front. “I tried to be as careful as I possibly could. I hope I didn’t hurt you too much.”

“The cuts across my chest hurt far worse than my back. Although, as someone as small and delicate as you, I can’t imagine how you were able to lift me into the bed,” I said.

She got up from the chair next to me and walked to the table where she chopped some vegetables with a large knife rather roughly and dropped them into a pot. 

“Did I offend you?” I asked, trying hard to lift my body up in the bed.

“No,” she said simply. I could tell she was lying. 

“I only meant you seem to be of small stature, and I am not. It must have been quite the feat to get me here. Clearly you are far more capable than I assume. I’m fairly certain I have you to thank for being alive.”

She took a deep breath and lifted her face to look at me from across the room. “You would be dead, for certain, if I hadn’t shown up when I did.”

“Then please allow me to thank you, Miss…”

“Charlotte,” she answered.

“Do you wish me to address you so informally?” I asked, wondering why she only gave me her first name.

“I think it best you don’t know my family name,” she explained. 

“Alright. Then thank you for your kindness, Miss Charlotte.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, going back to her chopping of vegetables. 

I watched her move around the cabin, stoking the fire, adding the chopped vegetables to a pot, cleaning and stripping the rabbit she had brought in before adding it to the pot with the vegetables. She placed the pot above the fire and continued to stoke the fire to get it hotter. Within minutes, the aroma from whatever she was cooking in the pot filled the room. I found myself salivating at the scent, but also found my mouth quite dry. 

I looked around for anything to wet my mouth. I saw a cup on a small stand near the bed and reached for it. Charlotte noticed what I was doing and rushed over to my side. “You must stop moving to give yourself time to heal,” she ordered. “If you need something, please ask.”

“Alright. My mouth is dry. Would you be willing to help me?” I asked.

“Of course,” she answered, wiping her hands on her apron and sitting down next to me. She took the cup in her hands and brought it to my lips. I took a large gulp of the cool, soothing liquid. I didn’t even care what it was. I felt as if I hadn’t drunk anything in days. 

“How long have I been here?” I asked.

“Three days. You’ve been asleep most of those days, only waking when in agony. I’ve nearly gone through an entire bottle of whiskey between cleaning your wounds and keeping you as pain free as possible. My father might not be too thrilled to find I have used his precious stash, but hopefully he will understand why I did what I did.”

“I’ve been asleep for three days?” I questioned. “How can that be? No one has come looking for me?”

“This cabin is fairly hidden deep in the woods. It would be hard for someone to find it who didn’t know what they were looking for. Would you like me to find someone for you? Your mother perhaps? You did mention her before. If you tell me how to find her, I could get her.”

I grumbled at the thought. As much as a comfort my mother would be, she would also be a nuisance. She’d be dramatic and overbearing. I’d prefer she not know about this accident until I was much better and able to go home to her. “You don’t need to trouble yourself.” 

“It’s no trouble at all. If I can bring you comfort in any way, I will.”

“I would much rather get my strength up before facing my mother,” I explained.

She nodded her head and went back over to the fire, stirring the concoction she had created in the pot. The smell washed over me again and made my stomach grumble. “I will do my best to help you get your strength back.” She carefully spooned out some of the broth and poured it into a bowl. She carried the bowl to the side of the bed and sat down next to me again. “The quickest way to get your strength back is sustenance.” She very carefully blew on a spoonful of the broth to cool it down, before bringing it to my lips. She was quite meticulous with her movements so as not to spill any of the broth. 

As she continued to feed me, I thought about what my family was doing. I imagined they were worried sick. They were probably still in Sanditon waiting for my return. I thought about the sea-bathing and dinner I was supposed to have with Mrs. Campion. I wondered if she worried about where I was. A part of me was quite thankful I didn’t have to go through with that dinner and potential engagement my mother had intended. I knew I must at some point, but I didn’t care for Mrs. Campion. I felt I would find myself resenting my mother for forcing me into a marriage I didn’t want. Alas, it would have to happen eventually.

“May I ask you something?” I questioned.

She grinned and gave me a strange look. Apposed to everything you have already asked me?” she responded. 

I laughed at her response and found the act of laughing caused much pain in my wounds. I winced at the pain. 

“Forgive me,” she said with distress in her voice. “I didn’t mean to cause you more pain.” She slipped her hand in mine and squeezed. The warmth coming from her hand filled me with comfort. Memories of asking her to hold my hand when I thought I was going to die came to mind. As improper as it may be, I welcomed her hand in mine and held it tightly. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the pillow. “Try to sleep if you can. You’ll feel better soon enough.” Within moments, I was asleep again, trying to rid myself of the pain I was feeling.

I wasn’t entirely sure how long I slept, but when I awoke, I didn’t open my eyes right away. I felt Charlotte’s hands fussing over the bandages on my chest. She sighed as if she was worried. I winced at the pain her touch brought, but I continued to keep my eyes closed. 

I tasted the strong flavor of whiskey on my tongue and then felt the tips of her fingers brush the liquid across my lips. There was something about the way she touched me that did something unexpected inside of me. I opened my eyes and caught hers staring back at me. She jerked her hand away from my lips as quickly as possible.

“Forgive me. I.. I didn’t know you were awake.”

“No need to apologize, miss. I appreciate everything you have done for me,” I said. “I feel my strength returning every moment you care for me.”

She smiled and continued to drip the whiskey into my mouth with her fingers. There was something quite sensual about the act, and I had to restrain myself from touching her inappropriately. I took in her features, and realized she was not as plain as I had once thought. Her face was small, a sprinkling of freckles covered her nose and cheeks. There was a small dimple in her chin that I found charming. Her hair falling across her shoulders made her appear relaxed and even gentle instead of uptight and disheartening. A far cry from the women I was accustomed to in London and even in Sanditon where I was recently visiting.

“Have you done this the entire time?” I asked, wondering if dropping liquid in my mouth was how she kept me alive. 

“Yes. You haven’t woken enough to take an actual drink. I’ve had to drip small drops of liquid in your mouth; whiskey for pain, broth for sustenance, and fresh water from the falls for hydration. I saw my mother do this for one of my sisters when I was younger. She nearly died from fever. This is how my mother kept her alive. I’ve kept a diligent watch over you these last few days.”

“It seems to have worked, considering I’m still alive,” I responded.

She smiled as if she was proud of her accomplishment. I’d never known of this trick, but knew it was something that would stay with me for the rest of my life. 

“I’ve never known a woman to be so knowledgeable about wound care and nursing someone back to health. I imagine most women I’m accustomed to would shy away from such an act,” I added. “You are far more capable than anyone I’ve ever known.”

“I can’t say it’s what I expected to do with my time here, but I am thankful I was nearby when you were attacked.”

“I am thankful too,” I said softly, looking deeply at her face so she knew just how sincere I was. “Which leads me back to what I was wishing to ask you earlier before I foolishly tried to laugh. What has brought a young woman, like yourself, out here in the woods living in this small cabin?”

She smiled bashfully. “This is my father’s hunting cabin. He comes out here to hunt when he has the inkling to do so. I suspect some of his desire to hunt is to get away from mother and all us kids. Although, in the last few years he has brought me and a few of my siblings out here to hunt with him from time to time.”

“Are you here with your father now? Should we be expecting him?” I wondered.

“No. I came here alone this time.”

“To hunt?” I questioned skeptically.

“Yes. Did you not see what I brought in earlier for the broth I fed you?” she questioned. I could tell she was offended by my lack of believing she had actually hunted.

“Yes, I saw. I was quite impressed. Forgive me. I’m merely trying to understand why a young woman would willingly choose to come into the woods alone to hunt?”

Her expression fell as if she was saddened by the question. The look was different than how she looked when I offended her. “I came here to clear my head. I needed some time to prepare.”

“Prepare for what?” I questioned further.

“Marriage.”

The words hit me hard for some unexplainable reason. I didn’t even know this woman, but the thought of her getting married was difficult to swallow. 

She stood from her spot next to me and walked across the room to fill a bowl with more of the broth. “You should try to eat a bit more. It’ll bring up your strength,” she said. She sat back down next to me and spooned the warm broth into my mouth. With every spoonful, I could feel my body strengthening. She was an amazing nurse, and I was in awe of her aptitudes. 

“May I ask you a question?” she said softly. 

“Of course,” I said.

“What might your name be?” She asked the question so timidly as if she was asking me something forbidden. 

“Forgive me,” I shook my head. “I should have told you long ago. How foolish of me. Here you are caring for a stranger and you have yet to learn my name.”

“I still have yet to learn your name,” she pointed out with a small giggle. 

I had to stifle a laugh so as not to hurt the wounds again. “Sidney Parker.” 

She nodded her head and smiled politely. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Parker.”

“And you, Miss Charlotte.”

Days went by of this routine. I slept for hours at a time and every time I woke, she would be at my bedside helping me eat, changing bandages, giving me whiskey to dull the pain. She even helped with sitting me up to use the chamber pot. It was quite humiliating at first, but then she reminded me I had been asleep for three days and she had been there to help me while I was unable to help myself. The humiliation only grew at the thought of what she had to do and what she had to lay her eyes upon. Yet, once again I was entirely grateful for her willingness to care for a strange man. It was because of her I would eventually be able to return home. 

Our conversations remained light during the times I was awake. I discovered she had a plethora of siblings; eleven to be exact. She was the eldest and clearly learned a lot from her parents on how to care for others. She still kept plenty of secrets, including her family name. She also didn’t name any of her siblings or her parents. Her father owned a small estate, but she wouldn’t tell me where exactly. I told her of my mother and brothers back home. I explained how we were visiting Sanditon for the annual regatta and ball. She had never heard of the place. I wondered just how far I had travelled into the woods to be so far away that she didn’t know what Sanditon was. I imagined she had lived a rather sheltered life, never venturing farther than her family home and on occasion her father’s hunting cabin.

One night, after sleeping most of the day, I awoke to find her sitting quietly by the roaring fire reading a book. Her fingers stroked her chin as she gnawed on her bottom lip. Her forehead was wrinkled as if she was concentrating. I smiled at the sight of her. I had become accustomed to waking up to her nearby and found she was a welcome sight after resting. 

I sat up on the bed and only winced for a moment at how my muscles ached from lying in the bed for so long. The cuts along my chest had begun to scab over and not ache as much. I had been able to sit up and even walk around a little without too much pain, all thanks to this angel in the woods.

“Good morning,” she said cheerfully. I glanced towards the window and noticed it was still dark outside. 

“Is it truly morning?” I asked. 

“Early morning. The sun is not up yet,” she explained.

“Do you ever sleep?” I asked with a light chuckle.

She ducked her head in embarrassment. “I try to at times. Mostly when you sleep. I find myself waking up and worrying if you are alright.”

“I think the worst of my injuries are behind us. There’s no reason to worry any longer, Miss Charlotte. I imagine here soon I’ll be well enough to return to Sanditon and back to my family. You will have your solitude back to prepare for marriage as you said.”

Her head dropped as if what I said made her sad. I wasn’t sure if she was sad about me leaving or about her imminent marriage. I assumed it was the latter.

“Do you not wish to marry?” I asked, hoping she would confide in me. She had done so much for me. Perhaps I could give her some sort of comforting words for whatever it was bothering her.

“I should get you something to eat,” she said, changing the subject. She rose from her spot by the fire and cut a slice of the bread she had made and filled a bowl with broth, which now consisted of root vegetables and chunks of meat from her hunt since I was feeling better and able to eat more. I was ever thankful for something more than just broth. She brought it over and handed the bowl to me, as I was now strong enough to feed myself. She sat down next to me and kept her head down. 

“I too have to marry someone I do not wish to marry. I was being forced to ask a woman to marry me the day of my attack. My family is in potential ruin after my father died and my older brother made some poor investment choices. I have no interest in marrying the woman. Quite frankly, I don’t wish to marry at all,” I shared, hoping she would see we were not much different and would confide in me. I remained silent while she mulled over what I had shared with her and took a few bites of the bread dipped in the broth.

Her head still hung low when she finally spoke. “I don’t wish to marry anyone either. I am not the type to remain home and merely live to make my husband comfortable. I want to continue doing the things I love. My mother describes me as a free spirit. I’ve never been one to remain at home and learn to embroider or play piano. I would much rather be hunting, picking berries, reading a good book under a tree. I’d love to travel and explore new and exotic places.” She took a deep breath as if the thought of giving all this up bothered her. 

“Are you being forced to marry by your family?” 

She swallowed hard as if she was trying not to cry and nodded her head. “I barely know the man. He is much older than me, but he comes from a wealthy family and has a title. My father knows he will never be able to afford an allowance for all of us to marry who we choose. His only hope is we marry well without the need for his support.”

“It’s your duty to your family,” I added, knowing all too well what that was like. 

“Yes. If I marry well, not only will my husband take care of me, but it will also forge a relationship with my father and potentially bring more wealth and status to my family to be well connected to such a prominent family.”

I reached out and placed my hand upon hers. Although I knew it improper, I felt as if she needed comfort. “I’m in the same position as you. It is truly unfair of our families to put this kind of pressure on us. Unfortunately, it is the way it is.”

She kept her head down and stared at our hands touching. “It’s why I came here. Not only did I need time to adjust to the news, so I could convince myself to go through with it, but also in hope my absence will show my parents how upset I am about this arrangement. I needed time to myself for one last moment of freedom.” 

I removed my hand from hers, knowing I had done something inappropriate for longer than I should have. “Then I came along and messed up your plans.”

“No,” she said, looking up at me with sympathy in her eyes. “I actually enjoy your company.” There was a slight redness that spread across her cheeks at her admittance. I found it quite endearing.

I grinned proudly. “I enjoy your company as well. Far more agreeable than that of Mrs. Eliza Campion.” 

“Is that the woman you are to marry?” she wondered. 

I nodded my head and sighed heavily. “A wealthy widow much older than me and quite the society snob. I only met her the day before I was to ask her to marry me. I already cannot stand her. I cannot fathom spending a lifetime with her.” I laughed remembering one of the last things I told my mother before I left. “I told my mother once I married her, I was going to buy the largest estate possible and spend my days hunting rather than with my wife. I can’t even stomach the thought of sharing a home with her, let alone a bed.”

Her head dropped again in sadness. “I think that is what I fear the most. Being intimate with a man I barely know. Feeling as if I have no connection to him at all but being expected to be available to him whenever he wishes.” 

“What is he like?”

She sighed and glanced up at me for a moment. “He’s nearly fifty. He’s a slender man with a cunning smile. He reminds me of a snake in the grass waiting to attack. I don’t honestly know much about him. We have only met twice under the careful watch of my parents. He doesn’t seem like the kind of man looking for someone to be his equal. He’s looking for someone to rule.” She sighed and looked entirely distressed. “I do not believe I can be who he wants me to be.”

“I believe you will. I find you quite capable of doing almost anything you put your mind to,” I said, hoping it would ease her worry.

She smiled shyly. “Thank you,” she said simply. 

We remained quiet for a moment while I continued to sip the broth and take another bite of the bread. I realized I had yet to ever see her eat. “Do you ever eat, Miss Charlotte?” 

I seemed to catch her off guard with my question. “I… I eat a little while you’re sleeping. I only brought enough supplies for one person and my hunts have not brought in much,” she admitted shyly. “I want to be sure you get your strength back.”

“I am much better thanks to you,” I said. “Please. I want you to eat as well. I have had plenty.” I thrust the half-eaten bowl of soup into her hands and handed her the last bit of bread. 

“Truly, I am fine. I take a small amount when I can and have been lucky enough to find some berries while out on my hunts. It’s given me enough sustenance to keep going,” she said.

“Charlotte, please take it. I can’t let you go hungry on my behalf. I won’t eat another bite for the rest of my recovery if you don’t eat also.”

She hesitated for a moment, glancing back and forth between me and the bowl of soup. I pushed the bowl into her hands again, urging her to take it. She licked her lips, as if craving the soup. She took the bowl and sipped at the broth as if she hadn’t eaten in days. I felt entirely guilty for taking so much from her already. If there was a way to make it up to her, to thank her for all she has done for me, I had every intention of doing so. 

As the sun came up and shined through the small window, I felt as if getting out into the fresh air would do me good. The wounds were much better, and most were nearly healed. All that remained were a few larger cuts that had scabbed over.

“You mentioned once a fall somewhere near. Is it suitable for bathing?” I asked. “I could use a good washing.”

“Yes,” she answered. “The water might be cold, but it’s not far. I can tell you how to get there.”

I pulled myself up and realized I had very little for clothing. The beast had ripped what I had on to shreds. “Your father wouldn’t happen to have an extra shirt lying around the cabin somewhere, would he?” I asked.

“I can look around. Perhaps there’s something.” She stood and placed the now empty bowl on the table before searching a small trunk at the end of the bed. She dug around for a moment and pulled out an old shirt that would have to do. I thanked her and pulled it over my head. I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and noticed the rips in my trousers. When she handed me my boots, she too noticed the rips. “When you get back, if you would like me to mend the tears I can,” she offered.

“I would appreciate that very much,” I said. She explained how to get to the falls, which didn’t seem that difficult. I stood in the doorway of the cabin, enjoying the sunlight on my face for the first time in days. However, the thought of stepping out into the unprotected outside world was a bit terrifying. 

“You didn’t happen to grab my gun when you found me, did you?” I wondered.

“Of course. I wasn’t about to leave that behind,” she explained. 

My gun leaned up against a corner of the cabin where she picked it up and carried it to me. I took it from her hands with a thankful smile. I hesitated for a moment longer, looking around the trees with concern. All I saw were morning birds singing their songs to each other. “Would you find me a coward if I was a bit afraid to venture out on my own?” I asked, feeling silly for even admitting something so personal to her.

“Not at all,” she assured. “Someone who has gone through the traumas you have has every right to be a bit fearful of the outside world.”

“I suppose I will have to face it at some point,” I said, taking a deep breath.

“Would you like me to go with you? I could stand guard,” she offered shyly.

“I feal I’ve taken advantage of your kindness far too much already,” I said.

“It’s no trouble at all. I don’t mind.”

I grinned shyly at her. “Well if you don’t mind, I suppose I could use the company.”

She nodded her head and wiped her hands on her apron before removing it and placing it on the table. For the first time, I saw how the hem of her dress and petticoat were ripped to make bandages. She grabbed her gun and joined me on my walk to the falls. All the way there, we both kept our eyes and ears alert for any sign of the panther I had been attacked by. My hope was that it was long gone by now, but it very well could be still lingering nearby. 

Once at the falls, she nervously turned around, standing guard while I undressed and slipped down the embankment and into the frigid water. The waterfall wasn’t large, but it fell into a nice pool of water and was quite refreshing, albeit freezing. I did my best to scrub my skin of the dried blood and grime Charlotte hadn’t been able to wash off while caring for me. I still found it hard to believe all she had done for me. She had sacrificed so much for a strange man in the woods. How many other young women would do such a thing? I had my doubts a man would even be so kind. 

I had been away from my family for nearly two weeks. Even though I had every intention of returning, a part of me wished I could remain at the cabin with Charlotte. Did I truly have to go back and marry Mrs. Campion? Couldn’t I marry someone else who was much more agreeable, like Charlotte? The only problem with my thoughts was Charlotte didn’t come from money. She would never be good enough for my mother. Although in the same class, my mother would see Charlotte, as well as her family, beneath her. I could only imagine what sort of degrading remarks Mrs. Campion would say about Charlotte. I imagined I would never be good enough for Charlotte’s family either, given we were on the verge of financial and social ruin.

I glanced over in Charlotte’s direction and a strange feeling hit my stomach. The thought of not ever seeing her again was unbearable. However impractical it may be, I was falling for this small woman who took care of me and sacrificed everything to save my life. 

I sighed and continued washing off in the water. When I was done, I walked back up the embankment to where Charlotte stood. “Did you wish to get in yourself?” I asked.

She glanced towards the water. “Oh. I shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be proper.”

“It’s quite alright. I can keep watch for the beast while you take a dip,” I offered. “I won’t look.”

She glanced towards the water with a longing in her eyes. “I suppose a quick dip wouldn’t hurt. You promise not to look?”

“You have my word, Miss Charlotte.” As much as I wanted to be truthful with her, the thought of catching a glimpse was enticing. I was a gentleman, though and kept my back to her. In the distance, I heard some rustling under a bush. I glanced up in the trees around me to be sure nothing was going to jump out at me before I walked just a bit closer to where I heard the sound. I thought about what Charlotte said about only bringing enough food for one when she came. If that was the case, I could help out by bringing in something more for both of us to eat. As I got closer, I saw the pheasant coming out from under the bush, oblivious to my presence. I readied my gun to fire, glancing all around me once again to be sure there was nothing about to attack me, then fired my gun. I loud shriek left my lungs at my good fortune. There lying on the ground was a plump pheasant ready to be eaten. I walked over and picked it up, proud of what I was able to bring home for both of us to eat. In the distance, I could hear Charlotte.

“Mr. Parker!” she shouted. “Sidney!” Her voice was more panicked as she got closer. 

I walked back to the embankment and held up the pheasant proudly in my hands. She was frantically trying to climb the embankment in just her wet shift. “I got us some dinner,” I announced. 

She let out a relieved sigh and slipped in the mud. I put the gun and pheasant down on the ground and reached my hand out towards her. “Hold my hand. I’ll help you up.”

She reached for my hand, but instead of helping her, I too slipped and both of us slid down the muddy embankment. I tried to grab her, to protect her from the fall, but we only ended up in a tangled mess at the base of the cliff. She landed on top of me, covered in mud and soaking wet from her swim. Her chest heaved, giving me the slightest glimpse of her breasts. My hands rested at inappropriately at her sides. For a moment neither of us moved, still stunned by what had happened and where we had ended up. Every fiber in my body was shouting at me to kiss her, but what would she think of me if I did? Would she cast me out of her cabin and leave me to my own devices in the middle of nowhere? Then again, what if she craved the same thing I did? 

Just as I began to get the courage to attempt a kiss, she quickly lifted herself off of me and started rubbing the mud off of her shift. I stood and did the same. “Looks as though we will both need to clean up again,” I laughed. I walked back towards the water and dove in with all my clothes on this time. She hesitated for a moment, but slowly did the same, slipping back under the protection of the water. We both cleaned off the mud from our clothes before getting out. This time, we took another route up the embankment, so we didn’t slip again. I took her hand in mine to help her. I was surprised she trusted me again to get her to the top without causing another fall. When we reached the top, she dressed back in her clothes while I put on my boots and gathered my gun and the pheasant. When we were about to head back, she stared at my chest with concern. 

I glanced down and saw the blood seeping through the shirt. “You’re bleeding again,” she said, rushing over to me and lifting the shirt to expose my chest. She ripped yet another piece of her petticoat and gently placed the fabric over the open wound with her bare hand. It appeared during the fall I had aggravated one of the cuts and caused it to open up again. Charlotte looked extremely concerned.

“It’s alright, Charlotte,” I said softly, placing my hand against hers which remained pressed against the wound to stop the bleeding. Her eyes remained on my chest, unwilling to rise to look at me. “I’m alright.” Her hand slowly slipped out from under mine. She walked over to her own gun and picked it up, beginning to lead the way back to the cabin. I caught up and walked in step with her while we both watched the trees for anything suspicious. 

“The pheasant will be a great treat tonight,” she said, trying to make our conversation light. 

“I thought so too. My mouth is already watering at the thought of it,” I said. 

“I think it best to put some whiskey on your cuts when we get back,” she advised. “I’m afraid you may have irritated them more than you should have.”

“I suppose I owe your father a bottle of whiskey after all this,” I said with a chuckle. “Perhaps I’ll get him two for good measure.”

She laughed. “I’m sure he would be thrilled.” 

When we returned to the cabin, she grabbed the whiskey off the table. I pulled my shirt over my head and watched her intently while she cleaned the open wound and dabbed it with the whiskey. “Charlotte,” I whispered. My forehead wrinkled and my breathing quickened. I didn’t have a clue what I was going to say to her. I simply wanted to say her name and have her look at me. Since falling, she hadn't looked at my face once. 

Her eyes only glanced as far as my lips, before focusing back on the wounds as if she hadn’t heard me speak her name. “That should do it. I’ll advise you to be a bit more careful from now on,” she scolded. “I can’t keep repairing your wounds.” Once done, she turned around and placed the bottle of whiskey back on the table and put her apron on. “Would you like me to clean the bird?” She asked the question rather harshly and put her hand out towards the pheasant I still held in my hands. Her eyes remained steady on the bird. I worried I had truly upset her in some way. I handed her the pheasant and sat on the bed looking down at my feet in shame. I didn’t mean to upset her if that's what I did. I was having a hard time controlling my feelings for her. No matter how wrong they may be, I was falling for my rescuer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading my stories. Every single one of you who leave kudos and comments are so supportive and keep my spirits high with desire to write more. I can't wait to share what I have planned for the stories I'm currently working on and plenty of future stories.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a restless night of a summer storm, I decided to work on another chapter of this story. Things are heating up between them. Just so everyone is aware, this is an explicit rated story, as all of my stories are. Next chapter will have a bit more intimacy than anything Jane Austen would ever write.

I remained quiet while Charlotte cooked up the pheasant. My mouth watered at the smell of the fowl cooking in the pot. I could hardly wait to eat it. Frequent glances towards Charlotte made me all too aware of her anger with me. I wasn’t sure what I had done to upset her, but it wasn’t the first time I had said or done something to make her upset. I had to find a way to make it up to her.

“Do you need any help with anything?” I asked.

“I’m perfectly capable of cooking a pheasant,” she snapped.

“Of course, you are. I just thought I’d try to do something constructive around here,” I said. “I’ve been stuck in that bed for weeks. I’d like to do something to contribute to my stay.”

She sighed and stopped what she was doing for a moment. “Perhaps you could go out and feed and water my horse?”

I nodded my head in acceptance and headed towards the door with my gun in hand. Her grey horse was tied down in a small enclosure at the back of the house. I threw out the bucket of dirty water and filled it with some fresh from the larger bucket by the house and gave the horse an armful of hay. I looked around in the trees and realized how exposed her horse was. If the cat was still nearby, it wouldn’t be hard for the horse to be attacked like I had been. 

I thought about what Charlotte had said about game being scarce on her hunts. The thought made me realize the panther was more than likely still in the area. He was eating well on the available game, leaving nothing left in its path. I kept my eyes fixated on the trees, being extra alert for any signs of the cat. Slipping back into the cabin, I shut the door and pushed a large piece of wood against it to make sure there was nothing that could open the door in the night. 

“May I ask what you’re doing?” Charlotte questioned. 

“Miss Charlotte, I have reason to believe the cat that attacked me is still at large. You mentioned earlier how you hadn’t had much luck on your hunts, which is why you haven’t eaten. This cat is eating all the available game in the area.”

She looked stunned by my hypothesis. It all made sense. “My horse?” she questioned, looking concerned for his safety.

“He is fine for right now. I’m not sure what we can do to protect him further. Perhaps tomorrow I can try and build something with more protection,” I offered. She nodded her head and sighed as if she was worried. “I do not think it safe for you to hunt alone anymore. We can go together if needed.”

“Yes. You’re probably right.” She turned around and busied herself with what was cooking on the fire. 

I sat down at the table and watched her cook, thinking about how I would feel if she was attacked by the panther. I would want to kill the cat with my bare hands if he even came near her. I decided it was my mission to protect her while we stayed at the cabin.

She sat a pot with the cooked pheasant on the table as well as what was left of the bread and soup from earlier. 

“We should try to make this last for a few days if we can,” she suggested. “Whatever isn’t eaten of the bird I can add to the soup for tomorrow.”

I nodded my head and agreed. As hungry as I was, I vowed to only eat a small amount, giving her the opportunity to fill her belly for once. She cut the bread into slices and then started to pull meat off of the pheasant. I took my time, savoring every bite while I ate. I watched as she ate ravenously as if she was starving. 

She still refused to look at me, even though I tried with all my might to engage her in conversation. Seemed as though everything always came back to her being engaged or intended for another man. I got the impression she was warning me off of having feelings for her. I got her hints loud and clear.

“When you marry, where will you live?” I asked, taking a small bite of meat into my mouth.

“To be perfectly honest, I haven’t the slightest,” she answered. I leaned back in the chair, deciding I had eaten enough and was going to give her the opportunity to eat more if she wished.

“Does this man have an estate nearby?” I questioned. “You did mention he has a title. There must be some sort of property involved.”

“Perhaps. I don’t rightly know,” she answered. “Like I said before, I only met with the man twice with careful watch of my family. There wasn’t much opportunity for conversation. What I do know is, once married I’m to have a tutor of some sorts to learn proper etiquette of a lady. I have never been taught how to speak or act properly in society. I do not even know how to dance at a ball.”

“You don’t know how to dance?” I asked, curiously. 

She shook her head shyly. “I’m a simple country girl. We don’t hold a lot of balls where I’m from.”

“I don’t care for dancing myself. I tend to forget the steps,” I admitted. “Sounds as though your soon to be husband has intentions of parading you around London society.”

She sighed and looked down with a worried expression. “I fear I may make a fool of myself. All the different dances and steps to learn sound intimidating.”

I stood from my chair and held out my hand. She stared curiously at my open hand for a moment, never daring a glance at my face. “Dancing can be intimidating, but most dances are similar in nature. I can show you.”

“Here?” she questioned, looking around the small cabin. 

“We don’t need a lot of space,” I assured. I gestured for her to take my hand so I could show her. 

“We have no music,” she said, standing from her seat and taking my hand. 

“We don’t need music,” I said. I held her hand tightly for only a moment before placing her across from me. Her eyes remained fixed on my chest while she nervously stood across from me. “To start any dance, you and your partner will stand across from each other. You will curtsy while the man bows. Some dances will have you lined up with other dancers and weave in and out of other couples. Since we don’t have other couples here, I’ll show you a simple dance. Once bows are done, you and your partner will take a step towards each other, then back again into starting position.” As I spoke the movements, I acted them out to show her. She began to follow my instruction and do the moves with me. “Next, you’ll turn to your side then to the other side opposite of your partner. If your partner is someone unfamiliar or merely an acquaintance, he will offer the back of his hand and you will place your hand on top of his. If you are dancing with your husband, he will offer his palm.” I knew I was taking a chance, but I offered her my palm. For the slightest of moments, she looked up at my eyes before looking away again. She hesitated for a moment, but slowly slipped her delicate hand into mine. My stomach churned at the way her hand felt in mine. I focused back in on the dance lesson and tried to push my thoughts away. “You will place your other hand along my upper arm or on my shoulder, depending on how close your partner holds you to him.” I slipped my hand around her waist and pulled her almost flush against my body. I let out a long, dragged out breath, enjoying her body against mine a bit too much. She rested her hand along my shoulder and dared another glance at my eyes before looking down. “Again, your husband may hold you close, while a mere acquaintance will leave some space between you for propriety purposes. No one wants your reputation tainted.” Her eyes met mine again and I found my head tilting towards her with the uncontrollable urge to kiss her. She dropped her head again, but I noticed her breath was coming at a fast pace and I could almost hear her heart racing in the quiet of the cabin. Or perhaps it was my own heart I was hearing. “Follow my lead.” I carefully spun her around the room, remembering the steps of one of the most intimate dances I knew. I could almost hear the music in my head, enjoying every moment of dancing with her. She moved so freely and trusting with me. I found myself dreaming of more intimate moments with her. Dreaming of a future with her.

Before the dance was over, she jerked away from me and ran outside, pushing hard against the barricaded door. I followed her out into the dark night. “Charlotte, please,” I said sadly. 

She walked a small distance out into the open before stopping and keeping her back to me. I remained in the doorway, giving her space. 

“I thought I lost you earlier today. When I heard that shot and then you yell, I thought you were being attacked again” she cried. “I cannot bear the thought of losing you.”

“Is this why you’re upset with me? It wasn’t my intention to make you worry. I simply saw an opportunity for food, something you spoke of not having enough of, and I took it. I apologize for bringing you distress. I will leave in the morning and give you back your solitude,” I promised. “You have been a wonderful caretaker, and I will be forever grateful for your quick thinking and constant care. I can never repay you for all you have done for me.”

She sobbed even more as I spoke. She turned around and for the first time in hours looked directly in my eyes without looking away. My head tilted to the side as I took her in. The glow of the moon shined on her face and made the tears falling down her cheeks glisten. “We can’t do this,” she cried. I could hear her small whimpers and everything inside of me screamed to go to her and comfort her. Yet I couldn’t. “I’m engaged to be married to a very prominent man. My family’s future depends on this connection.”

“I am in the same position,” I reminded.

She cried more and her small frame shook. “How am I to give my heart to another man when I’ve already given it to you?” she asked.

My breath caught in my lungs at her admittance. It’s all I had ever hoped for since coming to know her. I took a few steps towards her and cupped her face with my hands in the most intimate gesture I could imagine she’d ever experienced. “How am I to give my heart to another when you have had it all along?” Her sobs slowed as she stared into my eyes. Her lips parted in an inviting gesture. Her eyes darted between my eyes and my lips as I slowly moved towards her and gently touched my lips to hers. Our noses crashed against each other as I deepened the kiss, taking advantage of the moment and truly enjoying our intimate act. I kissed her fully, deeply, intimately, and never gave a thought about how this could ruin her. 

She pulled away first, ducking her head shyly. I sucked in a breath, letting my hands remain cupped around her face and enjoying the feel of her soft skin against my palms. My thumbs wiped away the tears from her cheeks and I rested my forehead against hers. 

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispered. 

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to,” I promised, taking liberty for another kiss. I lowered my head, dragging my nose across her cheek as she rose her head and met my lips with hers for another kiss. 

Realizing how exposed we were in the open, I took her hand in mine and walked her back into the cabin. I pushed the large log back against the door, securing it shut and walked her over to the bed I had been in for days. I had no intention of taking our intimacy any further than just a kiss or two. I was not about to compromise her in such a way. Lying next to her on the bed merely for sleeping purposes seemed entirely innocent in my mind. She deserved to sleep in a more comfortable place than she had been. If necessary, I would take a turn sleeping in the chair so she could get some much-needed rest. 

Watching me closely and taking her cues from me, she sat down on the bed. I sat down next to her in the darkened room and leaned in to kiss her again. She didn’t shy away from my kiss or my touch, which filled me with even more admiration for her. Eventually, we rested our heads back against the pillows and turned our bodies towards each other. Our eyes connected and didn’t falter away from each other throughout the night. I took my chances and gently ran a fingertip across her cheek or tucked a strand of her loose hair behind her ear. She gently placed her hand against my chest and brushed a finger across the scars forming as if she had memorized exactly where they were even through the thin fabric of the shirt I wore. I took her hand in mine and let our connected hands rest on the bed between us. We fell asleep, still facing each other and holding hands as if letting go would cause us both to perish.

In the morning, she had already gotten up and started the fire, heating the soup. When she saw me awake, she suddenly seemed nervous as if she was afraid what happened between us during the night was perhaps a dream.

“Good morning,” I said, giving her a smile in hopes it would relax her. 

She poured a bowl of soup and walked over to me. I watched her face, waiting for some sort of reassurance that what happened last night was true. She held the bowl of soup out to me. When I took it from her hand, I let my hand brush against hers in an intimate gesture. I was hopeful for a smile, a glance, a touch in return. But there was nothing. She had returned to her withdrawn and carefully protected stance. I let out a long breath of sadness and let my head drop. I had little interest in eating. I stood up and placed the bowl of soup back on the table. She glanced angrily between me and the bowl. “You must eat,” she ordered.

“Not until you do,” I demanded. 

“I’m not hungry,” she insisted. “I’m determined.”

“Determined for what?” I wondered.

“To kill a panther. I’m going hunting today and I don’t plan to return until the beast is dead,” she insisted. 

You aren’t going hunting alone. I will go with you,” I offered. “After you eat.”

She sighed softly and looked at the bowl of soup sitting on the table. “We don’t have much left. If we can’t find some game today or kill the culprit for why the game is so scarce, I will need to return home. If I do, I won’t be returning. I will need to follow through with my impending marriage.”

“I understand,” I said. “We will share the bowl of soup before we go out hunting.”

She nodded her head and took a small bite of the soup. I followed and took a bite as well. We continued sharing until it was gone. The small amount of watered-down soup wasn’t nearly enough to fill either of our bellies, but at least it was something. She gathered her gun, as did I and we headed out through the trees. Not far from the cabin, we found fresh tracks of the cat. My suspicions were correct. The beast was still in the area and getting closer to the cabin. We had no choice but to hunt him down and rid the area of his treachery. 

Charlotte led the way deeper into the woods where even in day it appeared to be night. The brush was so thick, only small beams of light were let in. We walked most of the day, following any tracks or signs we may have found to lead us to our prey. 

“There’s some berries nearby. I’ve been eating off of them for a week now. There should still be some available,” she explained. I didn’t like the idea of her venturing off this deep in the woods by herself all this time. The beast could have just as easily attacked her as it did me. In a small, bright clearing were bushes full of berries. Charlotte and I instantly began filling our mouths with the sweet treat. Charlotte had brought along a small basket to fill as well. I began to pick handfuls of berries and drop them into the basket along with hers. We had begun to separate a bit, Charlotte going one direction while I went in the other, clearing the bushes of the berries.

I suddenly got an eerie feeling as if I was being watched. I glanced slowly towards Charlotte who was busy picking berries and paying no mind to me. As I watched her, I caught the slightest movement in the trees. My heart stopped as I realized that same cat who had attacked me and nearly left me for dead, had Charlotte in his trance. I was not about to let him touch my Charlotte. As quickly as I could, I rose my gun and readied it to shoot. The cat lunged from the trees just as Charlotte realized it was there and let out a scream of terror. I shot the beast midair. He fell, lifeless upon Charlotte. 

“Charlotte!” I shouted. I ran to her and quickly pulled the cat off of her. “Are you alright?” I asked breathlessly. “Did he hurt you?”

“I’m perfectly well,” she said, sitting up in the grass and brushing the twigs from her clothing. She was shaking and tears welled in her eyes. I let out an anguished breath and pulled her into my arms. I didn’t care if she was intentionally trying to keep me at a distance to protect her own heart. I loved her and needed her to know how much it hurt to think she was nearly attacked. I took her face in my hands and kissed her passionately. She didn’t shy away from my kiss, which filled me with much satisfaction.

“Are you sure you’re alright? Please tell me if he hurt you,” I agonized, kissing her repeatedly between each word I spoke. 

“Sidney,” she said, caressing my cheeks with her own hands. “I’m alright. You saved my life.”

I took a deep breath in and nodded my head. “As you did mine.” 

We both began to laugh uncontrollably as we sat in the grass holding onto each other, while the cat that had tormented us lay dead beside us.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to take a moment to talk about the panther in this story. I know it may not sound realistic, but as I said before, there were stories about these wild cats in some of my research. I also came across stories of the aristocratic and higher class bringing these exotic animals to England to show off and look grander to others. It reminded me of someone purchasing a dog as a puppy, thinking it'll be great and it's so cute I have to have it. Then months later realizing these cute puppies grow up and destroy your home and chew everything up. I pictured a rich woman insisting she have one of these pure black cats on one of her many voyages to far off lands and her rich husband buying her the exotic animal. Then as this cat grew and suddenly the realization that it's a wild animal and could potentially kill someone, these high society people may just decide to let the animal go in the woods to fend for himself. Now this cat is alone in a land he doesn't belong and trying to survive, perhaps resenting man for the cruel way he was treated. Now I feel sorry for the panther. Anyway, that's the backstory on the panther and why it may be in a place it's not supposed to be.

Returning to the cabin with the dead cat around my shoulders filled my soul with satisfaction. What tried to kill me, I had defeated. I had also protected Charlotte from the same fate as I had. If he had hurt Charlotte, I would never be able to forgive myself. I would have never been able to take care of her the same way she had taken care of me. She was safe, and that’s all that mattered to me. 

Back at the cabin, I stripped the hide from the cat and did what I could to cut meat off of the bones. I had never eaten a panther, but it was meat. We had to survive. Charlotte didn’t seem bothered by it one bit. I could only imagine how the high society women of London would think about eating a cat. I didn’t find the meat bad and was thankful for something more substantial. 

With our bellies full and the feeling of contentment at being safe from another attack, Charlotte and I settled into a week of comfortable and playful conversations. We worked together around the cabin doing chores like chopping wood, cleaning brush away, taking care of her horse, cleaning the cabin, gathering food like berries and other edible roots and leaves we had come across, cleaning and preserving the hide of the cat, and Charlotte mended my shirt and pants. We spent many days at the waterfall cleaning our bodies and gathering fresh water. I had even concocted a makeshift fishing pole and caught a plethora of fish. We were thriving on the land and spending our evenings talking about anything that caught our interest. Charlotte wanted me to tell her all about London and even Sanditon. She wanted to know about London society and how things worked. At times, she looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. She had been entirely sheltered at her family farm and never experienced much of anything else. We had spent so much time together, the feelings we had for each other only deepened. I would steal a kiss or two from time to time, and at night, we would both lay on the bed together. Sometimes I’d hold her hand, and others we simply lie next to each other staring into each other’s eyes. I never let it go any further than small touches or a kiss. 

“You’re cheating,” I teased. It had been ages since I had played cribbage. I was surprised how quickly it came back to me as we continued the game. It was late into the evening and a rainstorm was coming down outside. Neither of us wanted to end the night. We had gotten closer, learning more and more about each other as we worked together for the week. Although, there was so much she still kept hidden from me. I tried not to pry, knowing she had her reasons why she wanted to keep things private. I assumed it was to protect her own heart. 

“I am not,” she giggled. “You don’t know how to play.”

“I have been watching you. There’s no possible way you aren’t cheating. Do you have a stash of cards up your sleeve?” I asked, taking her hand in mine and teasingly searching her sleeves. I secretly wanted nothing more than to simply touch her hand. 

“I assure you, I am not cheating,” she laughed. 

I held on to her hand longer than what would be acceptable, not that touching her in any way would ever be acceptable without engagement. I definitely had crossed the lines with every touch and every kiss I had given her. Yet, she never turned away from me or made me believe I was doing anything improper. I wondered if we were in society, if she would be the same way, or if she would still feel comfortable with every touch I gave her. She had not been bred to follow societal restraints, yet I couldn’t imagine she had never been taught that a man’s touch was not acceptable unless marriage was intended. She was engaged to another. I knew this. Yet, I couldn’t help how I felt about her. 

As our fingers linked together and drew even more deep feelings out of us, we both became more subdued, simply enjoying the moment. The cribbage game entirely abandoned. 

“How do we face this, Sidney?” she asked sadly, looking down at our connected hands.

“I do not know,” I answered. “What I do know is I will never feel for another what I feel for you. You are my match in every way. We both enjoy the same things. We both have the same desires and interests. You make me want to be more than I am. Even your hand fits perfectly in mine.” I tightened my hand around hers and gently rubbed my thumb across her knuckles. 

“Do you think it possible we could stay here at the cabin and no one would ever come looking for us? No one would pay us any mind?” she asked, with hope in her voice.

“It is possible, I suppose. We could live off the land. Spend our lives together,” I said. Both of us knew it wasn’t truly possible. We had duties to our families. However, it was fun to dream about. I pictured her carrying a small child–my child, on her hip while I chopped wood and tended to the animals. She would collect fresh vegetables from our abundant garden while another couple of children chased after some chickens. Teaching our children how to hunt together and use the land to survive. It was a fantasy I wished could be true. I simple life far from society restraints and expectations. A life I would be happy in and know she too would be happy. 

With her head still down, she spoke again. “Sidney,” she began. “I want to ask you something.”

“Alright,” I said, trying to understand why she was so timid and nearly shaking. 

“Before I marry and am forced to be intimate with a man I do not know or wish to be with, I want to experience intimacy with someone I love first.”

My breath caught in my lungs at what she was saying. Not only did she want to be intimate, which I couldn’t deny my excitement about, but she was also admitting she loved me. So many times, I wanted to say those words to her, but I questioned if it was right to do so. “Are you sure?” I questioned nervously.

“Yes,” she said. “Will you do me that honor?”

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. I knew I shouldn’t. I knew it would ruin her if I did. Even if she returned and no one ever knew about me being here with her, someone was bound to know she was more experienced. A parent or sibling would see something different in her. The man she was to marry would see a maturity about her he did not want. Yet, how could I deny her desires? How could I deny my own desires?

I swallowed again before standing and guiding her to stand with me. She had yet to look at my face since asking her request. She kept her eyes lowered, unsure of herself and of my reaction. I tilted her chin up so I could see her face. “Look at me,” I whispered. She took in my face and breathed heavily as our eyes connected. I leaned forward and pressed my lips against hers. I had kissed her plenty of times before, but in that moment it was different. She was nervous and unsure. Her body was shaking in fear. My conscience was screaming at me to stop, but I didn’t. 

I walked her over to the bed where she timidly started to remove her clothing. I did the same to my own clothing. I had seen her in her shift plenty of times. We had spent many days at the falls where she always left her shift on even though through the thin material, I could still see her every curve and nothing was left to the imagination. I found myself constantly pulling her to me in the water, desperate to touch her and feel her small body through the thin material. I would kiss her blue lips, warming her mouth with mine just to have an excuse to hold her.

Once she was down to her shift and me standing fully naked in front of her, I took a step towards her. She stared at the ground, not daring a glance at my body with her innocent eyes. She had seen me naked plenty of times and even touched me in places no woman would touch a man without being married, but those times she was a nurse, she was doing what was necessary to care for an ailing man. This was different. This was purely for pleasure and she was nervous to look at a man in an aroused state. I loosened the tie on the shift and let it fall freely at her feet. She gasped nervously as it fell. I pulled her flush against my body, letting our bare skin touch for the first time. “Are you sure?” I asked again, giving her one more chance to change her mind. As much as I didn’t want her to, I knew I would stop if she asked me to. She nodded her head and for the first time, ventured a glanced up to my face. Instead of looking nervous, she looked determined. I pressed my lips to hers again, letting our mouths move as one. 

I lowered her to the bed and began to kiss her even more. First her mouth, then her cheeks, then her chin and neck. I slowly ventured down her chest and washed my tongue across one of her nipples. The sensation stirred me in a way I hadn’t experienced before. She gasped when my lips closed around her nipple and sucked it between my teeth. She lied flat against the bed, unmoving, as if she didn’t know what to do. The realization that she didn’t know what was coming, hit me hard and I sat up on the bed with a start. 

She sat up next to me and gently touched my shoulder. “Is something wrong?” 

“I can’t do it, Charlotte. I can’t ruin you like this. As much as I want to, you’ll never be the same after tonight.”

“You have already ruined me for any other man. Not because you touch me or because we are intimate, but because I’ll never love someone like I love you. I want you to love me in return.”

I turned towards her and looked sincerely in her eyes. “I do love you. I too can never love another like I love you.”

“Then give me this small request. Love me like a man should. Let me love you like a woman should. Show me how to love you like you showed me how to dance.” 

I sighed, giving in to her request. I tangled my fingers in her hair and held her head to mine while I kissed her lips with more passion than I had ever given her before. My arms circled around her naked body, holding her close to me. We fell back against the bed, lying side by side. 

“Touch me,” I whispered against her lips.

“Where?” she asked breathlessly.

“Anywhere you want. Let your fingers explore my body. Don’t think about it, just do what feels good.” I could tell she was nervous. In an attempt to show her, I let my own fingers draw across her skin from her cheek, across her breasts, and down her stomach. She responded to my touch with soft moans of pleasure. “That’s it.” At first, she only traced her fingers across the scars that she had touched many times before. Her eyes followed her fingers as she continued her exploration. Every touch made me more and more aroused. I closed my eyes and sighed heavily, enjoying her touch. When her hand ventured down and barely brushed across my hard cock, I jerked away and let out a small chuckle.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked frantically, pulling away.

I opened my eyes and brushed her cheek with my fingertips. “No. No, you can touch me there. I was only caught off guard for a moment.”

She licked her lips and looked down between our bodies, taking in the sight of my erect cock between us, she gently touched me again. She used a single finger as she drew lines and explored further. I wondered if while I was asleep, she ever did this. Perhaps she had secretly been dreaming of touching me all this time once her eyes had laid on me weeks ago. A part of me enjoyed that thought. I moved my hips and moaned as she continued to touch me. I opened my eyes and found her watching my face as if studying my expressions of arousal. I leaned towards her and kissed her fervently. I wasn’t going to hold out much longer. I lowered over top of her and gently bent her legs at her knees, so as to open her up for me. I looked down at her face for a moment. She looked terrified but still so trusting. She was entrusting me with her body, and I feared I would lose all her trust once I entered her. I wondered if this would end our relationship. “It’s going to hurt,” I said in warning. She nodded her head as if she understood, but I didn’t think she truly understood. 

I continued kissing her body, taking my time to arouse her in ways I knew would feel good. I suckled her tender nipples into my mouth. Soft moans of pleasure left her lips as she enjoyed how I made her feel. Her legs, once tightly closed had begun to fall to the sides, opening her up more and allowing me to settle in between them. 

I let my hand venture between her legs. I gently slipped a single finger between her folds, rubbing her clit and allowing her just a moment of pleasure before I took it all away. She gasped loudly and lifted her hips against my touch. To my surprise, she didn’t shy away from my touch. She kept her trusting eyes fixated on me. She wanted to believe I was going to bring her pleasure. Even though I knew it wasn’t likely, I continued. I pushed her folds aside and slowly eased my cock into her, trying so hard not to cause her pain, even though futile. 

Her eyes widened and she gasped loudly. Her body jerked away from me, so I pulled out of her to give her a moment.

“Is that it?” she asked.

I chuckled and shook my head. “I haven’t even started. I just wanted to give you a moment. I know it’s not going to be pleasurable this first time. Every time after will be better.”

“Will there be another time?” she asked with a hopeful grin on her face. 

I smirked and leaned down to kiss her. “I hope so,” I whispered against her lips.

She bucked her hips into mine, causing me to groan. “I want this,” she whispered. I nodded my head in understanding, deciding to trust her like she was trusting me. She knew what she wanted.

I slowly started again, opening her folds and gently easing my cock inside of her. I pushed further and further into her, watching her writhe below me and let out tiny whimpers. I kept my eyes fixated on hers, watching for signs of discomfort or fear, yet she never wavered from her trusting expression. Even if it wasn’t pleasant, she still trusted me entirely. 

I kissed her mouth and remained still inside of her to give her a moment to get used to me filling her. Slowly, I started to move my hips against hers. Soft moans escaped her lungs as I continued, moving faster and more frenzied. I slid in and out of her wet warmth, taking in the sensation and pleasure her body brought me. Loud moans escaped me and heavy breaths washed over her face as I watched her. She lay unmoving, allowing me to take what I wanted from her. 

I brushed the back of my fingers against her cheek. “Close your eyes,” I said breathlessly. “Don’t think about anything. Just let the pleasure take over you.” She did as I said and with careful movement, I slid a finger between our connection and rubbed her clit. If nothing else, at least I could make her feel good in that way. As I continued my assault her clit and slid in and out of her, she slowly started to look as if she was enjoying it. She opened her legs wider, wrapped her arms around me, and started to move her hips with mine. “That’s it.” I grinned happily as I started to see her enjoying herself.

I knew I wasn’t going to hold out for much longer. I closed my eyes and let the pleasure take over my body. I collapsed against her, breathing erratically. When I came to my senses and realized she was under me, probably unsure what had just happened, I sat up and as gently as possible eased out of her. I fell to my back next to her and tried to catch my breath. 

To my surprise, she came closer to me and rested her chin against my chest. I took her hand in mine and rested our connected hands at my heart. She had a blissful grin on her face. I wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her back and looking at her for any signs of hurt or regret.

“Are you alright?” I asked.

She hesitated for a moment. “I’m… I’m more than alright. I’ve never felt so alive in all my life. Thank you.”

A sense of pride filled me. I sat up and kissed her lips feeling elated that she, in some way, enjoyed what happened. 

I pulled her close to me and settled in to sleep with her in my arms as we listened to the rain come down hard outside. The occasional flash of lightning or roar of thunder made Charlotte jump, which I took full advantage of to hold her closer during the night. Even if we could never be together, we would have this moment to remember.

When I woke up, she was already up and stoking the fire. I sat up and watched her with a grin on my face. She had yet to notice I was awake as she hummed a tune and worked at getting the fire started. I quietly slipped out of the bed and came up behind her, slipping my arm around her and turning her around in my arms. She squealed at my touch but didn’t pull away from me. I smiled like a fool as I held her close and looked at her. “Dance with me?” I asked, beginning to move us slowly across the floor. It wasn’t any dance I knew, nor would it ever be considered proper with how close I held her. She grinned and placed her hands on my chest while looking up at me. 

“I’ve never heard of a ball happening in the morning,” she said. 

“It’s only reserved for those truly in love,” I said with a chuckle. 

“Is that so?” she said with a playful grin on her face. “Then I suppose we will have to dance all day.”

“I suppose you are correct.” I kissed her passionately, still feeling the high from the night before. I wanted her again. Would she want me again? I moved our bodies as one across the floor and came to the edge of the bed. I waited to see her reaction. I was surprised when she leaned down to lift her skirts up and laid back on the bed. I grinned excitedly and followed her to the bed. This time was different than the first. She had been awakened in a way. She was more aroused and desiring my touch. Her body responded to my body in new ways. She wasn’t that timid girl who didn’t know what to do anymore. She was a woman with needs, and I was fully prepared to fill every single one of her needs. 

Her fingers traced across my body and her lips gently kissed across my skin, sending me into a frenzy. The loud moans coming from me only urged her to continue. I’d never known someone like her. I sat up on the bed and looked down at her with a half grin on my face. She opened up her legs and pulled her skirts up more. How I wished her dress was entirely off, but I knew it would only take longer. I grabbed my cock and slowly slid it inside of her. She didn’t jerk away or look uncomfortable this time. The look on her face could only be described as pleasurable. The thought that I was bringing her pleasure filled me with excitement. I wanted desperately for her to feel just as much gratification as I did. 

I came back down on top of her, supporting myself on my elbows. I rocked my hips, thrusting over and over inside of her, deeper and harder than I had before. She moaned with so much joy, I couldn’t help but watch her. I knew she probably didn’t have an orgasmic sensation the first time, but this time I was sure she would. The look on her face told me she was close. I held on, waiting and hoping for her to hit that peak. Just as I was about to lose it myself, her legs tightened around me and she cried out rather loud. Her back arched and her fingers dug into my shoulders. That’s what I had been waiting for. She had reached her peak. I spilled into her just moments after. She writhed below me as she let the orgasm fill her entire body. I pulled out of her and kissed her lips again before falling to the side of her.

“What was that?” she asked breathlessly.

I laughed. “You had your first orgasm. If you’re lucky, you’ll have them with every sexual encounter.”

“Can I have another?” she begged.

I laughed again. “Give me a minute.”

As I tried to catch my breath, she started to kiss my chest, gently brushing her lips across every scar on my body. 

“Do the scars scare you?” I asked. “Or do they make you uncomfortable?”

She laughed and looked at me with questioning eyes. “Sidney, I treated those wounds for weeks. Why on earth would the scars scare me?”

I shrugged and rubbed her back. “I suppose I imagine most women would be terrified to look at them.”

“I’m not most women,” she said. 

I grinned and pulled her to me for a kiss. “You definitely are not. Which is why I love you. I may never be allowed to love you, but I will never stop loving you for as long as I live.”

She looked at me with such sadness before kissing me. I pulled her on top of me, letting her lay on my chest as we continued to kiss. Without realizing how frenzied I had gotten, I ripped her dress and the strings on her stays, desperately trying to get to skin. I wanted to taste her breast, her neck, her stomach. I wanted to have my lips on her skin. With erratic and clumsy movements, she removed her ripped dress, stays, her petticoat, and then her shift. She sat on top of me, leaning down to kiss my skin and take liberty with her newfound desire. 

I sat up with a start, and suckled her nipple into my mouth, letting my tongue play with the soft bud. She moaned and let her head fall back, taking in the pleasure I had elicited in her. I moved to the other breast, giving her the same arousal with that breast as I did the other. Her hips rocked against mine as if she was craving more than just her nipples aroused. 

I fell back against the bed, took her hips in my hands and carefully lowered her around me. Her warm walls tightened around my cock, sending me nearly over the edge. Her eyes closed as she enjoyed me inside of her again. She licked her lips which made me moan loudly. I held her hips and showed her how to rock against them, sliding up and down on me. Her juices drenching my cock. I played with her clit as she got the hang of riding me without my help. Watching her come was the most magical experience I had ever had. She was beyond beautiful when her forehead wrinkled, and her eyes closed. Her bottom lip sucked between her teeth. She was glorious to look at. I had never been more aroused and pleasured by anyone in all my life. 

As we laid on the bed, both of us entirely spent from a morning of lovemaking, I was sure we both had the same thoughts running through our minds. How exactly do we go back to our other lives now? How do we face a world without the other? Why couldn’t things be different where we could be together? I knew one thing for certain, there would never be anyone who ever held my heart like she did, despite what I may have to face if I returned. 

As the days went by, we spent many moments wrapped around each other. Our nights were filled with making love, our mornings were filled with even more. We couldn’t stop. We had both found something our bodies craved like air. 

I had decided that I wasn’t going to leave the cabin. Without her would be like suffocating. I had no intentions of letting her go. I didn’t care what was happening back at home, I didn’t care about what was happening in her own family. All that mattered was we were together. 

I had started carving a small ring out of wood, keeping it hidden from her while I worked on it. When it was done, I brought her to the waterfall. We walked peacefully hand in hand, enjoying the last of the warm weather. I turned her towards me and looked at her intently. She seemed quite confused. “Charlotte,” I began. “I love you. I’ll never love another like I love you. Despite everything we are bound by family to do, I want you. I want you to be mine forever. I want you to marry me.” Her breath caught in her lungs as I said the words. She looked terrified. “I know I’m not a rich man. I know your family may never accept me. I know we are going to have to work hard to have anything in life. But I do not care. I want to work hard for you. I want to prove my love for you. After everything we’ve been through, I can’t marry someone else. I will only love you for as long as I live. Please say you feel the same and will accept me. Everything else will find a way.”

Soft tears streamed down her face as I slipped the makeshift wooden ring on her finger. She deserved so much more than a wooden carved ring, and I had every intention of giving her more when I was able to. I’d find a way to give her the most beautiful ring she had ever laid her eyes on. She swallowed and looked up at me. The expression on her face pained me. “Sidney, you know I can’t. Even if I wanted to, I can’t. I’m already promised to another man.”

“I don’t care. If we marry in secret, there’s nothing anyone can do. We can be together always. Don’t you want that?” I asked, hopeful.

“It’s not about what I want,” she cried. “I have a duty to my family.”

“So do I,” I reminded. “But I’m willing to give that all up to have you. How long are we going to let family dictate our lives? Why not live our lives for us?”

She shook her head and sobbed louder. “I want to, Sidney. I do. I want nothing more. But I can’t.” She pulled away from me and ran back towards the cabin. I was left heartbroken and wondering if she truly felt the same for me as I did for her. Was all this time spent together not important to her?

I stayed at the waterfall for a long time, thinking on what had happened, what I could have done differently, but more importantly what I could do back home to prove my worth to her family? Would they give me the opportunity to prove my love for her and find a fortune to support her?

It was dark when I headed back to the cabin. She sat quietly at the table, staring at the wooden ring still on her finger. I stayed close to the door, afraid to approach her. 

I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat. “Do you wish me to leave?” I asked.

“No,” she cried, shaking her head. 

“Do you wish me to stay?” I asked.

She sighed as if not sure how to answer. “I can pack my things in the morning. I’ll be gone before you wake.” 

I headed outside, fully intending to stay out until she was asleep. 

“Sidney!” she cried, chasing after me. She crashed into me and sobbed against my chest. Her arms tightly wrapped around me. I held her close, breathing her in, knowing I’d never be able to forget the scent of her. Knowing I’d never get over the way she felt in my arms, the way her lips felt on mine, the way her hand fit perfectly in mine. Everything about her was what I wanted. “I don’t want you to leave. I love you. I can’t lose you.”

“Then marry me. Vow to me we will find a way to be together,” I begged. 

With a determined expression, she nodded her head. “We will find a way.”

A heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders at her words. We would find a way. I’d figure out how to win her family over and make them accept me. I took her face in my hands and kissed her hard. I kissed her as if she was mine. In every sense of the words, she was my wife, and I was her husband. I picked her up in my arms and carried her back into the cabin. 

I sat her down on her feet and took her hands in mine. I stood in front of her as a man in love and desiring her love in return. She began to remove her clothing, baring herself to me like she had so many times before. I took her into my arms and looked sincerely into her eyes. “You asked me how we face this. How we find a way to be together knowing it’s not possible. But to me, it is possible. We can be together at this cabin. We can live off the land, we can hunt for our food, we can raise a family right here where no one will ever bother us. We have done a good job of it so far. We can continue to stay here.”

“My father will come looking for me,” she reminded.

“And I will convince him of my love for you. Could a father deny his daughter of true love?” I asked. 

She shook her head and sighed. I kissed her again, gently letting my lips move against hers as I led her to the bed. I laid her down and once again took liberty in giving her pleasure while enjoying my own. I held her tightly in my arms. Her fingers gently brushed across my arm repetitively. 

“Could we truly make it work?” she asked.

I kissed her neck and tightened my hold on her. “We have no other option. I have decided not to live without you.”

“Then it’s settled. I will be your wife and you will be my husband,” she said determinedly.

I smiled at the thought. “It’s settled.”

In the morning, I awoke to Charlotte bursting through the door. She looked terrified. “You have to leave,” she said frantically. 

“What?” 

“My father. He’s coming. I spotted him up the hill. If he finds you, he will kill you.”

“No. We promised we would find a way to be together. I must talk with your father. I must ask him for permission to marry you,” I insisted.

“Sidney, you don’t understand. My father won’t wait for you to explain. He will see you here and kill you on the spot. He will not wait for either of us to explain. He will cast me away as damaged. I will never be able to see my family again. You must leave before he sees you.” She threw my clothing at me and hastily tried to hide any evidence of my presence. 

“Charlotte, I can’t leave you.”

“I will speak to my father. I will do everything I can to convince him to let me marry another,” she assured.

“How will I find you?” I asked.

She kissed my lips with so much force. “I will find you.”

I kissed her again, willing myself to say goodbye, even if temporarily. “I will never love another as I love you,” I whispered.

“Nor will I,” she responded sadly. “Please go.” She frantically pushed me towards the door.

I grabbed her hand one last time as we exited the cabin. “Promise me you will find me,” I begged.

“I will. I’ll find you.” She wrapped her arm around my neck and kissed me one last time before pushing me away. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she watched me leave. 

I hesitated, hiding in the shadows of the trees. Her father had indeed arrived. He looked angry and forcefully made her leave the cabin. So many times, I wanted to run after her and make him stop. To make him see how hurt she was. To make his know how truly loved she was. Charlotte was right though. If I revealed myself, any chance of us being together would be lost. I had to trust she would find me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Once Charlotte and her father were gone, I went back to the cabin and looked around one last time. I had hoped she would have left me a message or some sort of clue to where she was. I searched high and low hoping for some shred of evidence so I could find her. There was nothing. 

I attempted to follow Charlotte’s tracks but lost them and ended up wandering the woods mindlessly. I wasn’t familiar with the woods in this part of the country and found myself utterly lost in a sea of trees. I had wandered, trying to find my way to anything, anyone, all day. As darkness approached, I wondered how long I could survive continuing to wander. 

When all hope seemed lost, I heard a shot from a gun in the distance. I ran through the brush and the trees towards the sound. If there were men out hunting, there was bound to be civilization nearby. 

“Don’t shoot!” I shouted, putting my hands out in front of me and walking towards the frightened man who had his gun pointed at me. “Please. My name is Sidney Parker. I’m lost and trying to find my way out of the woods. Could you point me in the right direction?”

“Sidney Parker, you say?” he asked.

“Yes. I’ve been lost all day. I just need to know which direction to travel in to get to a town.”

“Sidney Parker died nearly two months ago,” the man informed. “It was all over the papers. Who are you truly?”

I sighed, realizing that’s probably what everyone must have thought. “I am who I say I am. I was attacked by a wild animal and left for dead, but somehow I did survive.”

He lowered his gun and stared at me curiously. “By the phantom cat?” he asked.

“Yes,” I answered.

He breathed a sigh of relief and seemed to relax. “There have been multiple attacks and plenty of sightings of the cat. Everyone assumed you were dead as a result of an attack.”

“As you can see, I’m alive and well.”

“You may walk with me back into town,” he offered. “We aren’t far.”

Relief washed over me. “Thank you,” I breathed. 

We silently walked a distance before he started up a conversation. “My name is Lord Babington, by the way.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I do truly appreciate your help today,” I replied.

“Tell me more about the cat that attacked you?” he asked. 

“What is it you wish to know?” I asked.

“Were you able to fight him off? Is that how you were able to get free? How far into the woods were you when you were attacked? Have you seen him since?”

I decided against tell the man of my time with Charlotte. She would be mine to hold on to. I had no intentions of sharing her with anyone. Instead, I lied. “I was able to fight him off. I found shelter and cleaned myself up. I only saw him once more when I shot the beast.”

He gasped. “You shot him?”

“I did,” I answered, stopping to pull the hide out of the bag I carried with the few belongings I owned.

Lord Babington stared at the hide with great interest. He chuckled lightly to himself as he reached out and barely touched the fur of the animal. “You are going to make a fortune. Your story will be on the cover of every newspaper in all of England. This phantom cat has wreaked havoc all over England. Everyone is being advised to stay out of the woods. Although, some men, like myself, have gone off in search of the beast. The status alone will bring greatness to any family who is lucky enough to kill or capture the cat.”

I suddenly got a sickening feeling in my stomach. I was naïve to believe so quickly that this man was a decent man. He very easily could kill me now and take the hide for himself for the prize. Everyone assumed I was dead already. No one would ever know he killed me. 

I quickly rolled the hide up and stuffed it back in my bag. He watched me suspiciously as I did the same to him. “I think I’ll find the town on my own from here,” I said, thinking I needed to get away from him fast.

“You are afraid I’m going to kill you, aren’t you?” he asked.

I swallowed hard against the lump forming in my throat. If he was assuming it’s what I was thinking, the thought had to have crossed his own mind. “The thought did cross my mind. If it’s fame and fortune you are after, you are welcome to take the hide. Please, just spare me my life.”

He began laughing hysterically. He patted me on the back and started walking again, guiding me to walk with him. “I am a Lord. I have no interest in taking another man’s life. I am also in no need of the fortune, as I have my own. The fame is what I am truly after. What I would like is some recognition. My name printed in the papers along with yours. Perhaps, a partnership of sorts. A little tale of how I found you mangled and dying. How I nursed you back to health all these months while on the hunt for the cat that attacked you.”

A knot formed in my stomach. He was telling the story of Charlotte. The only one who deserved to have recognition for saving me was Charlotte. “I don’t wish to fabricate a story for fame. I’d prefer to be honest. You did find me, yes. You brought me out of the woods, yes. You can even claim you shot the beast and take the hide for yourself. I have no use for it. However, nursing me back to health, I will not agree to.”

“As you wish,” he agreed, curiously looking me up and down. 

We walked for quite a while more before I began to see the rooftops of houses and buildings in the distance. I couldn’t seem to get there fast enough. As much as I already missed Charlotte, the thought of seeing other people and possibly my own family excited me. 

To hold up my end of the bargain, the first place Lord Babington wanted us to go was the newspaper printshop. We had a story to tell. Lord Babington did exaggerate some of the details of how he found me, but he did do as I requested and made no mention of nursing me back to health. I showed the man writing our claim the hide and he too gasped at the sight of it. The man was giddy with excitement to write the story and tell of my heroic defeat of the phantom beast after being attacked and how Lord Babington found me near death from exhaustion and carried me on his back out of the woods. 

When we were done there, Lord Babington and I went our separate ways. He directed me in the direction of where I could potentially sell the hide. I needed money if I was going to go back to London. I assumed my family travelled home once my death had been declared. I was sure my mother was distraught hearing the news. So much had changed since the last time I was here. 

“Sidney?” a voice shouted out from across the street. “Sidney! Is that you?” I turned around and saw my brother Arthur running towards me. My stomach did a little flip at seeing him after all this time. I smiled and ran to meet him halfway. We embraced for a rich, brotherly hug. A hug of warmth and joy. “How is this possible?” He held me out in front of him and stared as if he was looking at a ghost. His breathing was erratic as if he was on the verge of fainting. 

“I have just arrived. Why are you here and not in London? Are mother and Tom here?” I questioned.

“Yes! Yes! Everyone is here in Sanditon. Mother refused to leave after you…” He paused, letting his sentence hang and taking a breath. “Sidney, we all thought you were dead. You have been gone for weeks. Where on earth have you been?”

“It’s a long story,” I said, patting him on the back. “One I will tell you at a later time. Right now, I’d like to sell this hide.” I pulled the hide out of my bag to show him and just like everyone else, he gasped. 

“Is this what I think it is?” he asked with a laugh.

“It is,” I said nonchalantly. “But I need to rid myself of it. I need to sell it.”

“Of course!” Arthur walked with me to the tanner to sell the fur of the cat I had killed to protect Charlotte. Just thinking of her name in my head, made my heart ache. I missed her already and it hadn’t even been a full day. As much as I craved civilization just hours earlier when I first arrived in town, now the busy streets and the loud people of Sanditon bothered me. I wanted the quiet cabin lost in the woods again. I wanted to be alone with Charlotte and go on living as if no one else in the world existed. 

I sold the fur for much more than I anticipated. It felt good to have money in my pocket again. 

“I’m still trying to grasp the fact that my flesh and blood brother is standing in front of me alive and well,” Arthur said when I walked out of the building. 

“I am alive and well, brother,” I said. “Now, should we go see mother?”

Yes, let’s,” he agreed, leading the way. I assumed she was still at the terrace where she was before I left. Yet, Arthur walked right past the rooms and continued walking. I never thought much about how my family would have afforded to stay at the newly built terrace given we were near poor when I left. The memories of how I was to marry the rich Mrs. Campion came to mind, and I cringed at the thought. I would not be able to marry the vile woman now. Not after what I had experienced and found with Charlotte. I prayed Mrs. Campion had moved on and found someone else to marry. 

“Where are all of you staying?” I asked Arthur.

He laughed and stopped walking to look at me. “A lot has changed since you were last here. Our brother Tom has married.”

Married!” I gasped. “To whom?” 

“A woman named Mary. She’s a kind woman with a good heart. Perhaps she can tame Tom and settle him. You know how Tom is always after the next great thing, which typically turns out to be a hoax. He seems to be much in love. They have only been married two weeks.”

“Did she come with a fortune?” I asked. “I can’t imagine mother approving of a marriage without a fortune attached.” A part of me hoped she did have a fortune, so I was no longer expected to save the family from ruin. Perhaps this wife of my brothers was hand-picked by our mother as Mrs. Campion was for me. I would expect nothing less from her.”

“She did not,” he said. “Well, I suppose a small allowance. Nothing substantial. They fell in love nevertheless and decided to marry.”

“Mother allowed him to marry someone he loves?” I questioned. 

He sighed and gave me a pained expression. “You should probably know Mother has changed since you disappeared. She’s quite ill.” 

“Quite ill how?” I wondered, feeling fear and regret for not coming home sooner.

He sighed and dropped his head. “She is probably not going to live much longer. When you disappeared, she was so grief stricken she became so ill she couldn’t even leave her bed. You just need to be aware she isn’t like she used to be.”

The guilt I felt for not returning to my family sooner was overwhelming. All I could think about were all the things I should have done. I should have returned to not only save my mother from her grief, but also to save our family from financial ruin. How on earth have they survived all this time without anything? “I must see her at once,” I insisted.

“Of course. Perhaps seeing you alive and well will restore her health,” he suggested.

Arthur led me up a path to a rather large estate at the end of town overlooking the beach. “What is this place?” I asked.

“This is our home,” Arthur answered. I stared at him with so much confusion. How on earth was this our home? Instead of questioning him further, I followed him into the large home and down a corridor until we reached a double-doored room. We walked in and lying on the bed was the mother I once knew, yet different in many ways. Her skin ashen, her hair white, her hand frail. I took her hand in mine and stared down at her face. She did not wake or stir in her bed. 

“She just had a sedative,” a man with a long face and small round glasses perched on his nose told us. I assumed he was some sort of doctor. “She may not wake again throughout the night. You will need to wait until morning to speak to her.”

I kissed her knuckles, before tenderly laying her hand back on the bed at her side. I followed Arthur out and was met by our brother Tom walking through the door with a beautiful and elegant woman on his arm. He stopped in his tracks and stared at me with wide eyes. His hand leaned on a side table to steady him. The woman at his side did what she could to keep him upright. She looked entirely confused by his sudden reaction. “Brother?” he breathed.

“Tom,” I said with a small dip of my head. The woman at his side turned towards me with a shocked expression. 

“It cannot be,” she whispered.

“It is,” Arthur said proudly. “Sidney is back from the dead.”

Once Tom had settled and come to terms with me being alive, the three of us brothers sat in the drawing room while I explained my adventure. I left out Charlotte. I simply explained I found a cabin deep in the woods and cared for myself until I was better.

“It’s impossible,” Tom said, staring at me again as if I was a ghost. “We found the blood. We found the scraps of clothing left from an attack. Your horse returned spooked and alone. All the evidence pointed to an attack by the phantom cat everyone has been speaking of. It was written in the papers that you had perished from the attack.”

“Perhaps mother was right after all,” Arthur said.

“Right about what?” I asked.

They both shared a look before turning towards me to explain further. “Mother was convinced you were still alive. She insisted she could still feel your heartbeat inside of hers. She spent every last dime our family had to search for you. She had to pay a hefty price to convince men to go into the woods searching for you. All came up empty-handed. It wasn’t until she became ill that the searching stopped,” Arthur explained.

“Why did you wait so long before returning?” Tom asked.

“I had to wait until I was fully healed. There was also the matter of the cat stalking my every move,” I said.

“Sidney did kill the cat,” Arthur told Tom. “I saw it with my own eyes. He sold the fur earlier.”

“It’ll be all over the papers tomorrow,” I said. “A Lord Babington helped me out today and insisted we go straight to the papers to regale them with my heroic return with his assistance.”

“Mother is going to be thrilled to see you,” Tom said. “She will most definitely regain her strength.”

“Answer me something,” I began. “How is it that we have this magnificent home here in Sanditon? How is it that you, Tom were able to marry without the burden of a woman with a fortune?”

“That burden was bestowed upon me,” Arthur interjected. I stared at him in disbelief. My younger brother, who has never had any interest in a woman, let alone marriage was married? “It is true. I am married. After you disappeared, mother spent all her energy on finding you. When money started to run low, both Tom and I were sent to find wives. We both attempted our hand at your betrothed, Mrs. Campion. She refused us both.” 

The thought of Mrs. Campion being my betrothed made my stomach turn. “She wasn’t my betrothed. I never got as far as asking for her hand in marriage,” I interjected.

“Forgive me,” Arthur apologized before continuing. “Shortly after you disappeared, a woman named Georgiana Lambe arrived in Sanditon with a maid and all her belongings. She is an heiress to a large fortune. Our mother made sure our paths crossed with the young heiress. Like many other men, we pursued her and she showed little interest in getting to know anyone. I decided a different tactic may work far better. Instead of attempting any romantic affections, I simply offered myself as a friend, a confidant. In time, we began to trust each other and open up about our thoughts and desires. I told her of my inability to find women attractive, and she told me of her love for a man below her station. I even had the privilege of meeting this man named Otis. He adored Georgiana and wanted nothing more than to simply love her. I concocted a plan she couldn’t refuse. We married shortly after and Otis Molyneux became our new gardener. He takes care of the gardens by day and keeps my wife warm at night.”

“I don’t understand,” I said. “She agreed to marry you so she can be with another man?”

“I know it sounds complicated, but it’s a rather popular practice in some parts of the country, especially with those of noble blood or higher rank in society. It’s what is referred to as a marriage of convenience. I have promised to care for Georgiana always, while I allow her to enjoy the affections of her true love. Meanwhile, I am the master of this estate with more money than we will ever need,” Arthur explained further. “There is also a quite charming man who takes care of our livestock I am very fond of.” He grinned suggestively at his comment. I knew my brother was never fond of women, but it's was odd to hear him talk of finding a man attractive so easily. Regardless, he was my brother, and I had no interest in gossiping about my brother's love life. 

“What about children?” I asked. “Surely people will question their legitimacy if they do not resemble you. How will you handle that?” 

Tom and Arthur grinned. Just as Arthur began to open his mouth and explain, the door opened. A man and woman with dark complexions walked in with their arms around each other giggling and carrying on with looks of affection. Their playfulness reminded me of how Charlotte and I were. As soon as they saw me standing to greet them, they quickly let go of each other and had a look of fear across both of their faces. The woman glared at Arthur. “I wasn’t aware we had company, husband,” she seethed through gritted teeth.

Arthur laughed. “There’s no need to fear. This is my brother Sidney, back from the dead. Our secrets are safe with him as they are with Tom and Mary. We are family.”

She also stared at me in disbelief. I had come to terms with the fact that everyone believed I was dead. I was bound to get looks from everyone who had read about my disappearance. She curtsied politely but still gave me a questioning look. “You’re certain this is your brother?” she asked.

Arthur and Tom laughed. “Do you think we wouldn’t recognize our own brother?” Tom asked. “There is no doubt in either of our minds this is Sidney. If he wasn’t, the resemblance of a stranger would be uncanny. Mother will confirm it in the morning.”

Georgiana simply nodded her head, accepting the explanation. 

“Believe me, any secrets shared in this home are safe with me. I will protect my family at all costs. Given you are family now, you too will be protected,” I assured.

She seemed to sigh in relief and turn towards the man she was clearly comfortable in an intimate way with and took his hand to steer him away. 

The three of us sat back down to continue our conversation. “If Georgiana is ever to have a child, by blood Otis will be the father. But by name and birthright, it will be mine. Given her dark complexion, it’s highly unlikely anyone will ever question the child’s legitimacy. They simply won’t be able to tell either way.”

“And this arrangement works for you?” I asked. “You are happy being in a marriage of convenience?” 

“It’s not perfect. There’s always something that we need to work out or arrange to keep up appearances. We have to be very strategic in what we do and where we go. But yes, it works for us. I am no longer looked at as the poor man without a wife or ability of snagging a wife. I also have control of a fortune that will sustain our family for years to come.”

I thought about this for a moment and realized, since Arthur had made this sacrifice for our family, I no longer had to. I would be free to marry who I chose as Tom did with Mary. I could marry Charlotte if I could free her from her intended husband before it was too late. 

“You must be exhausted,” Tom said. “Why don’t I have one of the servants show you to a room to get you settled in. I’m sure you could use a good night’s rest in a comfortable bed.” 

I doubted I would ever find comfort in any bed without Charlotte in my arms. 

As suspected, my night was restless. I continued to wonder about where Charlotte may be. I questioned if I would be able to find her. I questioned why I hadn’t pushed harder to ask her full name, her parent’s names, the name of the village she lived in, anything that would help me to find her. I questioned why I hadn’t asked Charlotte to come with me to see my family long before her father came. I should have made her see how much I loved her and wanted her to be my wife long before I actually did. I should have begged her father for her hand in marriage. So many things I should have done. Now I feared it may be too late.

Despite everything, I would not give up looking for her. I would search every house in all of England until I found her if that’s what I had to do. Someone was bound to know who she was or where she came from. 

In the early hours of morning, I went for a walk along the coastline. I had built up so much tension, I had a hard time focusing on anything other than my own self-deprecating thoughts. I continued mindlessly walking through the town, paying no mind to the people filling the streets and feeling down on myself for not doing more to keep Charlotte in my life. As I walked, I could feel eyes staring at me and gasps from people’s mouths. I rose my head to find droves of people staring with hand covered mouths or wide, astonished eyes. In their hands were newspapers with a front cover story of my return. How everyone knew it was me being referenced in the paper; I had no idea. Yet everyone seemed to know. 

The stares and the gossip made me uncomfortable. I quickly returned to the home of my brother and vowed not to venture out again until the story died down. “Seems you have made the front page, brother,” Tom said with a chuckle. “It’s not every day a Parker is headline news.”

“I personally don’t care to be headline news. I would have much rather the story never been told,” I said in anger.

Tom patted me on the back, pacifying me. “You will learn to love the attention. Enjoy it while it last.” He walked past me and headed out the door dressed in business attire. 

“Where might Tom be going?” I asked as Mary walked into the room.

“He has become quite influential in the development of Sanditon,” she explained. “He spends his days going over plans and directing builders on what to do.”

I hummed, thinking about how both my brothers had changed almost unrecognizably in such a short time. I didn’t think I had changed at all. I wasn't sure where my place or what my role in this family was anymore. “Is mother awake?” I asked, changing the subject.

“She is,” Mary said. “Arthur is with her now gently breaking the news of your return.”

I don’t understand,” I said. “Why gently break the news?”

“We are all fearful the sudden sight of you may make her heart give out,” she explained. “Her heart has weakened over the months.”

“I see.” 

I walked down the hall until I was standing outside of her bedroom. The door was ajar, and I saw Arthur sitting with her, quietly explaining. She must have sensed my presence. Her head snapped to the side and looked directly at me. “Sidney!” she cried. I walked the rest of the way into the room and took the seat Arthur had moved from. She quickly grabbed my hands and held them tightly. “I knew you were still alive. I knew you couldn’t be gone from me.”

“It appears you may be the only one who believed that,” I said.

She cried more. “It’s so good to hear your voice. I can feel my strength returning. Please, speak more. Tell me everything.”

We talked for hours as I explained my adventures, strategically leaving Charlotte out of the story. In the late afternoon, she drifted off to sleep, and as she had always done for me when I was ill, I held her hand. 

Days went by and even though my mother insisted her strength was returning, to everyone else around, it appeared that she was deteriorating a rapid rate. I spent every moment I could with her, knowing it very well could be my last. 

On the rare occasion I wasn’t with my mother, I was in town asking around if anyone knew of a girl named Charlotte who may live in a neighboring village. No one knew who I was speaking of. The most frustrating thing about all of it, was everywhere I went I saw her. I had touched multiple women’s shoulders or arms turning them towards me thinking it was her, only to be faced with someone else. At night when I slept, she filled my dreams making it difficult every morning to wake up and discover she wasn’t there. I felt as if I was going mad. Even my brothers were questioning my sanity with my strange behavior. 

After a difficult day of visiting a nearby village in pursuit of Charlotte and coming back empty-handed, I sat with my mother through the night. 

In the morning, her cold, frail fingers brushed along my cheek. I woke and sat up, trying to give her a smile. “Something is bothering you. Please confide in me what it is so I can help you,” she whispered.

I shook my head and diverted my eyes. “I’m just struggling to fit in; to find my place in this family and this town.”

“It’s more than that, Sidney,” she insisted. 

I chuckled. I should have known I wouldn’t be able to hide anything from her. I tightened my hands around hers and decided to confide in my mother. “When I was attacked, there was a young woman who found me; who saved me. She nursed me back to health and stayed with me night and day while I recovered. We became close while spending so much time together. Now I can’t seem to find her, yet everywhere I go I see her. She kept a lot hidden from me. No matter how hard I search, there’s no one who has heard of her with the little information I’m able to share. I’m beginning to think I’ve gone mad. What if I created her in my delusion and she never actually existed?”

“Do you believe she was real?” she asked.

I sighed and felt the sting of tears. “I do.”

“Then I insist you keep searching.”

“She comes from nothing, mother. She’s a simple country girl. You would never approve,” I added.

“Yet you have continued your search for her, despite whether you think I’ll approve or not,” she pointed out.

I laughed lightly and shook my head. “I suppose I have.”

“Nearing death has changed my opinion on life. Money means nothing if you aren’t happy. I regret it took me so long to realize this. I regret that I have put such pressure on my sons to marry money despite how miserable they may be doing so. I am at peace that your brothers have found happiness in their own ways. I want nothing more than for you to be happy as well. For you to love and be loved in return.”

I cried. “I wish you could meet her. You would love her. She is everything I’ve ever dreamed of and more. Yet, I can never have her. She is promised to another man.”

She patted my hand and nodded her head determinedly. “Then I suppose you must work quickly in your search and convince her to marry you instead.” I stared at her curiously. “Go, Sidney! Go find her and don’t come back until you do.”

I nodded my head and breathed a happy sigh before kissing my mother on the cheek and running out. I still had no idea where to search, but I knew a good place to start. I collected my horse and took off into the woods heading back to the cabin. I was unsure if I’d be able to find it again, but I had to at least try. I had to look once again for any clues about where she may live or where to find her and follow her trail. 

I was surprised how easily I had found the cabin. In some way, finding the cabin brought hope that she did in fact exist. She was real as was my love for her. I opened the door, half expecting to find her poking at the fire and stirring something in the pot. Unfortunately, the cabin was empty. I walked into the small space and looked around, remembering all the moments Charlotte and I had shared. I touched the blanket on the bed where I had made love to her multiple times, showing her what it was like to be loved and cherished. She had to be real. I couldn’t possibly fabricate such deep feelings. I sat on the bed, trying desperately to remember if there was ever a moment she may have uttered a family name, or a village she came from. 

In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something sitting on the table. My heart skipped a beat at what I thought it was. I hopped up and rushed across the room, picking up the small wooden ring I had given her. I held it in my hand and stared at it as a tear streamed down my face. The ring wasn’t there the day I left. I searched the cabin high and low. I would have seen it if she had left it behind. The only possible way it could be here now is if she returned and left it. She left it, knowing I would most likely return in search of her. She left it as a sign that she didn’t plan to find me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone hold on. Grumpy, sad Sidney is about to make an appearance in the next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since so many are begging for more of this story, I decided to finish this one up before continuing on my other two. This one is nearly complete. I only have one chapter left, unless it ends up getting too long and I need to break it up. I'll hopefully have the final chapter up in a day or two. 
> 
> Yes, I know everyone is panicking wondering how I'm going to bring them back together, how are they going to get their HEA, they can't possibly be split up forever? This is what I want to happen. I want everyone to think there's no hope left. Please just trust me and know I have everything worked out. If there wasn't going to be an HEA, I would have warned everyone at the beginning. It just might not be the HEA everyone is expecting.

I sat on the floor of the dark, cold cabin all through the night staring at that ring. I tried to rationalize why she would leave it. Perhaps her father made her. Perhaps she took it off for only a moment and then forgot about it. Deep down I knew there was only one reason she would leave it here. She was gone, whether by force or by choice. Despite what we shared and how deep our feelings were for each other, we both knew from the very beginning we would never be able to be together. I had to accept the fact that she was never mine to begin with. I had to learn to live without her. As much as it hurt, I had to go on knowing she was with another man. 

When morning came, I placed the ring back on the table, stared at it a moment longer willing myself to let her go, before walking out the door and heading for home. I rode slowly through the trees, thinking about all Charlotte and I had been through. Hoping beyond hope, wherever she may be now she was happy and well cared for. I hoped she was loved by whoever she was with as much as I loved her. I hoped she would find happiness, no matter how much it hurt to think of her being happy with someone else. 

When I arrived back in town, finding my way out of the woods much easier now, I headed back to the estate where my family lived. I walked into the house to find my brothers questioning me with their expressions.

“You disappeared again,” Tom pointed out. “Is this going to become a habit of yours?”

“I just needed to get away,” I said, not really answering his question. I walked past him and Arthur and headed to my room where I collapsed on the bed and stared blankly at the ceiling. I wanted to sleep, yet every time I closed my eyes, I saw Charlotte’s smile. I felt Charlotte’s fingers against my lips giving me life. I felt her touch against my scars. Nothing I did could make me forget her. 

By late afternoon, I had enough and headed to a local pub where I drank my sorrows away. I drank so much, I ended up passing out on a bench only to wake the next morning to begin drinking again. Drinking seemed to be the only way to dull the pain of losing her. Multiple people tried to convince me to go home, even my brothers came and tried to drag me out. But I refused. I spent all the money I had gotten from selling the pelt of the cat on alcohol and gambling in two days. I was kicked out once I had nothing left. Reluctantly, I returned back to my family home and crashed. 

When I finally emerged, all I could think about was another drink to escape the pain. I walked slowly down the hall, hearing the laughter from my family in the drawing room. I had no intention of being happy with anyone, so I snuck by and left the house. I walked the streets and the beach, silently reminiscing about my time with Charlotte. No matter what I did, I couldn’t let her go. 

I had come to enjoy the sting of the cold water, as it helped me focus on something other than the pain of losing Charlotte. I spent most mornings and on occasion evenings, sea bathing. Dulling the pain with more pain seemed the way to go. For nearly a week, I barely talked to anyone spending my days and nights alone. I had barely even noticed my mother’s health was suddenly improving to the point that she was able to join the rest of the family in the sitting room for part of the day. 

Even though I was surrounded by family who were happy and healthy and thriving in this world, I felt entirely alone. I was lost in a sea of strangers. I was an outlier, not truly belonging anywhere. 

I sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean on a particularly cold morning when Arthur found me. I rolled my eyes at having my solitude interrupted.

“There you are,” he said breathlessly. “I was beginning to think you disappeared again.” Stumbling to do so, he sat down next to me and tried to catch his breath. “What an odd place to spend your day.”

“What’s so odd about it?” I asked with a hint of anger to my voice. 

“Why spend your time sitting in the cold on the hard ground when you could be sitting by the fire eating pie and enjoying the comfort of a plush pillow under your tush?” he asked rhetorically. 

“What is it want, Arthur?” I grumbled.

“Mother is worried about you. She feels you are on a path of self-destruction. She has asked me to find out what has happened,” he explained.

I sucked in a lung-full of cold air, feeling the anger building inside of me. I had no intentions of telling anyone what was truly wrong with me. “I’m not happy here. That is all.”

“Then it’s settled,” he said. “You will be travelling to London with me and Georgiana.”

I turned in his direction. “What on earth are you travelling to London for?” I asked.

“My wife has a taste for the finer fashion trends of London that aren’t available here in Sanditon. She wishes to go shopping before the winter months settle in. Also, it’s a way for us to keep up appearances in society. We plan to be gone about a week. You are welcome to accompany us. Might do you good to get away for a time. Perhaps you’ll find some joy in visiting our childhood home.”

I turned back towards the water, watching the waves crash against the rocks below. “I have no interest in going to London. There is nothing there for me, nor will I find happiness anywhere.”

He sighed. “Sidney, we are all worried about your wellbeing. You are going to find yourself in an early grave if you don’t pull yourself out of this. Perhaps talking to someone will help you feel better.”

“I doubt it,” I said dismissively. 

“It’s worth a try,” he urged.

I stared at him in disbelief. I couldn’t understand why he was pushing this. “Fine, you want to know what’s bothering me?” I began in frustration. “The fact that I don’t belong anywhere. The fact that I don’t have a purpose. The fact that there’s nothing here for me nor will there ever be anything for me anywhere else. I am lost in the world and the only thing that could change that is Charlotte.” I blurted her name before I even realized what I had done. 

“Who is Charlotte?” he asked.

I sighed and shook my head. “She’s…” I let my response hang, unwilling to tell my brother who she was. I had only spoken of her to our mother and even that was vague. “Nothing.”

“Clearly she’s not nothing. Is she someone who lives in town?” he asked, pestering me further for answers. 

“I don’t know where she lives. I don’t even know her family name. All I know is I will never love another the way I love her,” I answered.

“Would you like help in finding her?” he asked. “I could hire the finest men to search for her.”

I shook my head, feeling the sting of rejection deep in my soul. “Search all you like, it’s too late anyway. She has more than likely married someone else. If she existed at all.”

“Existed at all?” he questioned. I had said far too much as it was. I had no intentions in sharing more. I stood to my feet and bid him farewell before walking off in the opposite direction. When I returned to the house late in the evening, Arthur and Georgiana were gone. Mother and Tom, along with Tom’s wife Mary were sitting in the drawing room. Mother called me in, insisting I come sit with them. Reluctantly, I walked in and came face to face with Mrs. Campion. She still looked the same as she did before I left, however she held no interest for me. I had come to find her repulsive as I’m sure any woman would be compared to Charlotte. I hid my detest and politely bowed in her direction. She had a pleasant grin on her face as if overjoyed to see me. 

“Sidney,” she breathed. I despised the way my name sounded on her lips. Who was she to speak to me in such a familiar way? 

“Mrs. Campion,” I said stoically. 

“I must admit, like most I thought you were lost to us,” she began. “I can’t tell you how happy I was when I saw the papers of your safe return. I thought it necessary to come here and see for myself.” She giggled just slightly. I found the sound irritating. “And here you are. I can scarcely believe my eyes.”

I pursed my lips and huffed air out of my nose. We stared at each other from across the room silently. I knew she was waiting and expecting me to say something in return. However, I had nothing I wished to say.

“I am feeling quite tired,” my mother announced. “Tom, Mary could the two of you help me to my room?”

“Of course,” Tom said, helping our mother to her feet. Mary joining in to help on the other side. She wished me a pleasant night and patted me on the arm, before the three of them left the room, leaving Eliza and I alone. My irritation only grew knowing they left us alone on purpose. I assumed mother thought seeing Eliza again would bring me joy when in reality it only brought more irritation and pain. 

I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. I didn’t know what I was supposed to say to the woman. I had no intentions of hurting her. However, I had no intentions of being kind to her either. 

She took a step closer to me, coming mere inches from me. If I wished to, I could reach out and take her hands in mine. I imagined she was hopeful I would since she held her hands in front of her as if waiting. “Alone at last,” she laughed with a hopeful expression. “I have found myself missing you terribly with your demise. I can’t even begin to explain my delight in hearing you returned unscathed.”

“Unscathed?” I laughed. “I doubt the scars across my chest and stomach mean I was unscathed.”

She nervously looked down at her hands. “I only meant that you had survived such a horrific attack and came out alive. You are a local hero in the eyes of society. Everyone in London wishes to meet you. There isn’t a soul left in all of England that doesn’t know who Sidney Parker is. Even the Prince Regent himself wishes to meet you.”

The truth of her visit was suddenly revealed. If I was truly as well-known and sought after as she spoke of, she was hoping to connect herself to the man and enjoy the fame I was undoubtedly going to receive, whether I wanted it or not. 

“Sidney,” she began.

“Mrs. Campion,” I said, cutting her off with a very formal greeting. “What is it you wish to achieve with your sudden visit? I have little interest in meeting anyone, especially not the Prince Regent. What can I do for you?”

She seemed struck by my words. I assumed she thought I would be thrilled to see her and wish to be a part of London society with her on my arm. I was not. 

She hesitated for a moment, looking down at her hands again that had now began to fidget. “With your absence, I have engaged myself to another man,” she admitted. “However, I still find myself thinking of the short time we spent together and wondering what might have been if you hadn’t disappeared.”

I took a deep breath in, feeling some relief that she was engaged to another. “Perhaps things work out for the best, even when we think the world has made a mistake.”

Her eyes shot up to mine, reading my cold expression. I could see her eyes misting over as the truth in my words sunk in. “Perhaps they do,” she said determinedly. Whatever sadness she felt had now turned to anger. “I suppose I should be going.”

“I wish you every happiness, Mrs. Campion,” I said, nodding my head and standing aside to let her by.

“Goodbye, Mr. Parker,” she said. “If you find yourself in London anytime soon, please do visit. I’d be happy to spend the day with you.”

“I appreciate the offer. I highly doubt I’ll be spending any time in London.” 

She took a deep breath. I knew her anger for not getting her way was building. She wasn’t happy I hadn’t fallen at her feet and begged her to marry me. I assumed that’s what she expected would happen.

When she was gone, I poured myself a drink and downed it rather quickly before pouring myself another. Tom walked into the room with exaggerated movements and a boisterous laugh. “Things went well, I imagine?” he asked, patting me on the back and laughing again. “Who would have thought both my brothers marrying the two richest women in all of England. Mother is beside herself with joy. She can barely contain her excitement at all three of her sons finding happiness.”

“Do you think I proposed to Mrs. Campion?” I asked. “Why on earth would I want to marry her? There’s no longer a need to marry someone with a fortune to save our family. Arthur has already done so. Why would I subject myself to that type of torture?”

He stared at me with his mouth hanging open, looking dumbfounded by my response. “I… I thought you two were close before your disappearance. I suppose I just assumed you wished to marry her. The announcement of her engagement was in the same paper of your heroic return. We all assumed that was why you have been so miserable. You must have seen the announcement?”

I laughed astounded by their stupidity. “I wasn’t made aware of her engagement until tonight. She is the last person I expected to see here tonight. And to be honest, I did not enjoy her visit in the least.”

“Sidney, what has gotten into you?” Tom asked with such concern. “It’s like you are a different man since your return. At times I wonder if you are just an imposter with an uncanny resemblance to my brother.”

“Perhaps I am a different man,” I agreed. “Perhaps I’ve become cold to the world I’ve been subjected to. Perhaps I have little interest in living a life of regret and disillusion.”

“Sidney!” he said in a shocked tone.

“Excuse me!” I didn’t wait to hear anything more. I gathered what little money I had left and headed to the pub for a stronger drink than what we had at the house. I needed to get away from everyone and everything. 

I sat alone, drowning my sorrows and reflecting on my life. I wondered why my life was spared and filled with the most overwhelming happiness, only to have it ripped away so quickly. I wondered if Charlotte ever loved me at all the way I loved her. I wondered if she was struggling like I was. I wondered why anyone would subject themselves to love when it hurt too deeply to ever recover when it was lost. A marriage of convenience like Arthur had, seemed much more agreeable. At least then there was no misunderstanding of one’s feelings for the other.

“Mr. Parker,” a familiar voice called out across the room. I looked up briefly to find Lord Babington walking across the room with another man at his side. “I was just thinking about you.” He sat down next to me, not even asking to be invited to join me. Someone of his status clearly needed no invitation. His companion sat down also and introduced himself as Mr. Crowe. 

“What can I do for you, Lord Babington?” I asked, leaning back in my chair and taking another drink.

“Indeed!” he said. “What can you do for me?” I had some concern with the way he spoke his words. He had a scheming look on his face. “I have a business proposition for you. Me and Mr. Crowe here are about to venture into business together. We have plans to expand our wealth for our future generations and we would like you to be a part of it with us.”

“Whatever for?” I laughed. “I have no money to invest. I can barely afford the drink that sits in front of me. If you’re looking for investors, my brother Arthur is the one to speak to.”

Lord Babington and Mr. Crowe laughed while sharing a glance. “We aren’t looking for investors. We are looking for promotion. I have done plenty of research and have come to the conclusion that railway is the wave of the future. I want to be a part of it while there’s still time. If we attach the famous cat slaying Sidney Parker to our project, we are bound to get recognition. I have men working on steel tracks for more sufficient travel as we speak. We would like you to use your newfound popularity to get others interested in our new way of travel.”

“Railway, you say?” I asked. “What exactly is railway?” 

“It’s rather simple, really. Carefully laid tracks connect major cities and a collection of rail carriages travel back and forth along this track.”

“More people are able to travel at one time and the ride is far more agreeable than that of a coach riding across the bumpy and uneven terrain,” Mr. Crowe added.

“Sounds like a fantasy if you ask me.” I said taking another drink. “How exactly do you pull multiple carriages?”

“With multiple horses. However, once the carriages get going along the tracks, the pull is much easier, and the horses do not tire as quickly as they do with a traditional coach.

“I’m still not convinced,” I said, taking another drink. “What exactly would I be bringing to your project?”

Lord Babington snapped his fingers in the air getting the attention of the barkeep. “Bring another bottle of your finest for my good friend, Sidney Parker.”

What once was a loud and bustling room, had suddenly grown quiet as everyone stared at me. I was still struggling with the way people stared when they discovered who I was. I preferred to go unnoticed.

Lord Babington smirked as if he had made his point. “If you just speak of the project with others and get men excited for a new way of travel, we are bound to have more interest and potentially huge success. Perhaps even agree to do another interview with the papers and mention your new business adventure. You are the most sought-after man in all of England. Everyone is bound to want to link themselves to anything you do.”

“There truly is no risk,” Mr. Crowe added. “And you’ll be gaining the friendship of two fine gentlemen who are looking out for your future investments.”

“What exactly do I get out of all this if I agree?” I asked, beginning to feel obligated to help them, even if I wasn’t convinced of their ideas. 

“You will be paid handsomely. And with more use of the new form of travel, you’ll see even more money coming your way,” Lord Babington explained. 

“You truly have nothing to lose,” Mr. Crowe added. 

Reluctantly, I agreed to the plan and spent the rest of the evening going over what they wished me to do. I found talking with them made me forget about my agony, even if only for a small moment. As more time went on, I began to believe and truly agree with their plans. This new way of travel was already finding popularity in Scotland. However, it was primarily used as freight to transport goods. Lord Babington wanted to create a similar line using it primarily for people, although it would be just as suitable for goods as well. He had multiple investors and had a warehouse full of laborers already creating the tracks to be laid. 

I chose not to tell my brothers or anyone else about this newfound business adventure I was taking, as I wasn’t sure how they would react. I half expected them to laugh at me for getting involved in something so preposterous. However, I wasn’t interested in their opinions. 

Arthur and Georgiana returned after their stay in London. Georgiana had more packages than I had ever seen. She was much more interested in seeing her beloved Otis than worrying about her packages. Seeing the two of them together made my stomach turn. Not only did it seem odd for her to be in the arms of another man while married to my brother, even if it’s what they all agreed upon. I also found it miserable, since their affection for each other only brought me memories of Charlotte. 

“How are things in Sanditon?” Arthur asked. “Anything new?”

“Nothing worth mentioning,” Tom answered. “What news from London?”

“Some interesting developments, for sure,” Arthur said. “Seems as though our brother, here is quite popular with the ladies.” He turned his attention on me with a wild grin on his face. “I spoke with many fathers knowing of my connection with the famous Sidney Parker and wishing for me to arrange an introduction. I’ve been obliged to hold a ball here in Sanditon. Multiple families plan to make the trip.”

“What news!” Tom shouted excitedly. “Mary, did you hear?” Mary came into the room and Tom shared the news. She too was excited. 

“Why on earth would fathers wish me to marry their daughters?” I asked. “They don’t even know me.”

“You are the famous Sidney Parker who slayed a wild cat in England of all places. What man wouldn’t want their daughter connected to such a man?” Tom said. 

“Many of the men I spoke with are well connected and their daughters will come with their own fortunes,” Arthur added. 

My jaw tightened with anger. “I am sick of this ridiculous practice. Why can’t two people fall in love and be together simply because they fell in love? Why must there always be a business arrangement planned by fathers for two people to join in marriage? The entire institution is insufferable.”

“Tell us how you really feel,” Lord Babington said with a chuckle. I had no idea he was even in the room as the servant had yet to announce him before I went on my rant. 

“Lord Babington!” I said, quickly hopping to my feet in greeting.”

“I came to bring over some contracts for you to look over,” he said, walking across the room to hand me the documents. 

“Lord Babington! What a pleasant surprise,” Mary said in greeting. 

“Good day, Mrs. Parker. Did I hear something of a ball?” Lord Babington asked.

“Indeed!” Tom answered. “Sounds as though there are a plethora of eligible young ladies who wish to meet our young brother here.”

“I see,” Lord Babington said with a hint of intrigue. “Sounds as if it might be a perfect opportunity to spread word of our business arrangement.”

“Business arrangement, you say?” Tom repeated. “What sort of business arrangement?”

“Nothing to concern yourself with,” I said dismissively. “Let’s discuss this elsewhere.”

I walked Lord Babington out of the room and led him outside into the cool morning air. 

“If I heard the conversation correctly, Mr. Parker, this could work to our favor,” he said.

“A ball could work to our favor?” I asked skeptically.

“The ball will have its potential, yes,” he said. “What I’m referring to is the marriage of the infamous Sidney Parker.”

“I’m not interested in marrying,” I said. 

“Is any man truly interested in marrying?” Lord Babington laughed. “Although, if the elusive Sidney Parker suddenly married it would be front page news. A few mentions of your new business adventures and we will be on the map.”

I sighed and rubbed my face. I couldn’t possibly. He patted me on the shoulder and grinned excitedly. “Think about it. That’s all I ask.”

He got in his carriage and left. I was reeling from all the changes and expectations suddenly building upon me. I wanted to make a name for myself, find my place in society, yet everything was overwhelming. I wished for a simpler life, like what Charlotte and I had at the cabin. If only she was here and able to calm me with her presence alone. If only she could hold my hand and bring me comfort like she did when we were in the cabin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from everyone and truly want to know the good and the bad.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story. It was always intended to be a short story. I hope everyone enjoyed it.

The night of the ball, I stopped in and visited with my mother before we left. She had her good days and her bad days. The bad days outweighed the good, but we were still thankful she was getting better. 

I held her hand in mine, gently running my thumb across her knuckles. “My dear boy, I wish the light you once had inside of you was still present. I miss your joy,” she whispered.

“I’m afraid that was lost when I left the cabin I stayed at during my attack,” I said. “There’s only one thing that could bring that joy back.”

“The girl who cared for you during those months you were gone?” she asked. With my head down, I nodded. “Why have you given up so quickly on finding her?”

“It’s what she wanted. Before we parted, she was reluctant to let me love her entirely. In a way, I proposed, asking her if there was a way for us to be together, to choose me. After much hesitation, she did agree. Although, looking back, I think she was trying to tell me she knew it would never be possible and we would only believe it to be true while at the cabin. The following day, she made me leave because her father was coming. Looking back, I wonder if she purposely went to her father. Seems rather convenient he arrived the day after I proposed.” I remained silent, finally willing myself to believe what I had suspected for quite some time. I didn’t want to admit to myself that she had never truly loved me, but all the signs pointed to that truth. “She made it perfectly clear she wanted us to separate.” I hadn’t told anyone about the ring she left behind. That was a secret I never planned to share with anyone. “By moving on, I’m giving her what she wanted.”

“Will you ever find happiness again?” she asked.

“Unlikely,” I said, feeling as if even the thought of happiness was painful. “I am being advised to marry for the greater good of bringing attention to our potential business. Lord Babington believes this railway he has planned will be the way of the future. He is insisting I marry to bring mention of the railway to the papers. With my newfound reputation, I’m to do whatever possible to make the railway more well-known and bring in interest of potential investors.”

“Is this what you wish to do?” she wondered.

I laughed. “Not entirely. I’m just trying to find where I belong in this world. I want to do something great. Both my brothers have found their place while I’m still lost. Perhaps getting involved in this new project is what will give me a purpose.”

“Or perhaps your purpose is much simpler,” she said. “All I want for you is to be happy. If being nothing more than a man in love with a young lady, that is all you need to be. From what I’ve been told, there are quite a few young ladies looking forward to meeting Mr. Sidney Parker. Many young ladies who could make you as equally happy as this mystery girl in the woods.”

I sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. I suppose I shouldn’t make them wait any longer.” 

I went to leave, but she grabbed my hand to stop me. “If you are truly letting her go because it’s what she wanted, you need to let her go for you too. Don’t continue to hold on to something that you’ll never be able to have. Let her go.”

I nodded my head in agreement. As much as I knew she was right, I still didn’t think I could. 

The ball was a tedious affair. I spent the evening being introduced to one young lady after another. Some as young as fifteen, others as old as forty. Fathers came in droves to offer me their daughter’s hand in marriage with a significant yearly allowance attached to the arrangement. One father after another trying to outdo the last. I danced with so many ladies, I had forgotten which ones I’d danced with and which ones I hadn’t. I couldn’t remember any of their names. Not one felt right in my arms. Not one was someone I wished to dance with a second time. 

I had a hard time comprehending why any father would have such control over their daughters to hand them over to a man they barely knew. I vowed that night to never subject my daughters or even my sons to any such practice. I simply didn’t care who they wished to marry as long as they were happy. Although, the thought of ever having children seemed entirely impossible. 

“How is the evening treating you, Mr. Parker?” Lord Babington asked. “Any of these young ladies catch your eye?”

“I’m afraid not,” I said. 

“Well, we will just need to keep looking. There’s bound to be one somewhere,” he said with a slight chuckle and a pat on the back.

I downed another drink, trying to numb the distaste of the ball. I had lost count how many drinks I had during the night. I was sure it was more than I should have, yet not nearly enough to make me stop seeing Charlotte at every corner. Even women who looked nothing like her, suddenly became her. I was surely losing my mind and was looking for relief. I stepped out on a balcony to get some air. 

“Good evening, Mr. Parker,” a familiar voice spoke behind me. I closed my eyes, growing sick of my own name. I sighed before turning around to face Mrs. Campion. She wore a striking red dress with beading that caught the light of the moon just perfectly. If a man were looking for a bride, she would be a vision indeed. If he were looking. “I thought I might come tonight, simply to see you one last time.”

“Why would you wish to see me one last time?” I asked.

“I suppose I am still hopeful we might be able to rekindle our growing affections for each other. I do believe we were becoming increasingly close before your disappearance,” she said.

I smirked and tilted my head while staring at her. “Were we?”

Once again, she seemed struck by my words. “I know this might be quite presumptuous of me, however I am told you are looking for a wife. I would like to be considered. I do believe we could get along quite nicely.”

“Do you?” I questioned incredulously. “And when the attention of being the man who killed a wild cat wears off, will you still feel that way? Will you be able to look at the man covered in scars from the attack? If I were to get hurt again or even become ill, would you stay by my side and care for me while I recovered?”

“We would have the finest doctors and servants to care for us. I wouldn’t need to care for you,” she answered.

“And what if I didn’t want to live like that?” I answered. “What if I simply wished to live in the country, surrounded by nature where I could hunt as often as I pleased and I would come home to a wife who would graciously clean the kill before cooking it for our evening meal with our children?”

She smiled as if she was considering the notion. “We wouldn’t have to live like paupers, Sidney. We could live like royalty. I have a significant fortune.”

“You’re missing my point. I don’t want to live like royalty. I wish to live simply. I don’t see it as a pauper life, I see it as a peaceful life,” I explained. “I am sorry, but I cannot see us ever finding happiness with each other.”

She looked sad, almost as if she was about to cry. I had tried to let her down easy twice now, yet she wouldn’t let up. “You can’t blame a girl for trying. You are the most sought-after bachelor in all of England. From the looks of the room, it would appear you have your pick of many fine women. Although, I have an inkling you don’t wish to marry any of them.”

“You would be correct in your observation,” I said. “I have no wish to marry.”

“Yes, well. I suppose all these women will be let down in the same fashion as I was,” she said. “Good day, Mr. Parker.

Shortly after she walked away, Arthur was at my side handing me another drink. “I thought you might need a drink after that fiasco,” he said.

I hummed in response and downed the drink. “This is twice I’ve had to turn her down.”

“You can’t blame the woman for being persistent. Every young woman in the room is after the same thing,” he said.

I turned to look at the room and saw people joyfully dancing and having a wonderful time while I was outside desperately trying to get away from all of it. 

“How did you manage it?” I asked. “How did you marry a woman you didn’t love and still stand by her knowing she’s in love with another man?”

“There’s a lot to be said about a marriage of convenience. It’s still a partnership, a commitment. However, there’s more freedom in the marriage. If I wish to spend a week in London, I don’t need to answer to an angry wife wondering where I’ve been or who I’ve been with. If I wish to hunt for the day, I don’t need to ask for permission. If I wish to travel and see the world, I don’t have to worry about how my wife will fair while I’m gone.”

“Have you been thinking of traveling?” I asked.

He gazed off in the distance as if longing for adventure. “It’s crossed my mind a time or two. I would enjoy seeing new things and experiencing new cultures. My wife comes from the exotic land of Antigua. She has spoken of going back there someday. Although, right now her place is here with Otis.”

“Is it ever hard for you to see her with another man?” I asked. “I know you don’t love her, but she is your wife.”

“I do care for her. I wish for her to be happy. I know I will never make her happy like she deserves. I am glad she has Otis in her life who brings her joy and treats her well. I’m also thankful he has learned to accept the arrangement we have. We have found comfort in our situation and accept the other for their role in Georgiana’s life. A marriage of convenience does have its positive aspects. It is nice walking into a ball and not having people stare at me for being the odd fellow who no one wishes to dance with. I’m no longer sitting alone at social events or dinner parties. I have a built-in companion when I need one.”

I thought on this for a moment. I knew I was never going to find happiness with anyone else like I did with Charlotte. A marriage of convenience sounded appealing. I would have the freedom to come and go as I pleased without a wife questioning my every move. I’d have a built-in companion for social events. And most importantly, I wouldn’t be subjected to anymore balls where I was the object of everyone’s affections, nor would I have to suffer through another proposal of sorts from Mrs. Eliza Campion or any other woman. Lord Babington would also have his promotion for the railway. Perhaps a marriage of convenience was exactly what I needed. 

“Arthur, I think I wish to marry. I don’t care who. I’m not concerned with a fortune or allowance or even land. What I want is someone willing to live as husband and wife in name only. I don’t wish for someone who expects me to love them or even care for them. I would like you to find me someone who is willing to abide by my wishes.”

He laughed. “I am not about to pick my brother’s bride.”

“You are more familiar with these arrangements than I am. I wouldn’t know where to begin. I am entrusting you with this matter. Just tell me when to arrive at the church and I’ll marry whoever you choose.”

“You are serious?” he asked.

“I am. I have come to terms that I will never be truly happy without Charlotte. She has moved on and I should too. I don’t wish to be happy, but I do wish to make those around me happy. Lord Babington and Mr. Crowe wish me to marry for promotion of their railway. Mother wishes me to marry to settle me before she dies. I wish to marry to be spared from this ridiculous husband hunting debacle. It’s for the best.”

“I suppose I could ask around. Perhaps Tom could help me. Even Georgiana might know someone,” he agreed. “Should we bring a young lady or two by for you to meet and choose from?” 

“I don’t wish to court any young ladies. I only wish to arrive at the church, get married, do my duty for those around me, and move on with my life. That is all. Perhaps I’ll travel after our marriage. Unless, of course, mother’s condition worsens. I’ll hold off on going anywhere until I know for sure she is healthy again.”

“She’s not going to be healthy again. Her heart is giving out,” Arthur said. “I know some days she seems to be doing better. She’s not, though. The doctor doesn’t think she will survive the winter.”

I thought on this a moment and felt a knot in my stomach. I knew she was ill, but I never imagined she would eventually die. “All the more reason to marry. She deserves to believe I’m happily married and settled down before she’s gone.”

“You don’t believe she will be able to tell?” he asked.

“I think I could be rather convincing. What she will see are early stages of a husband and wife getting to know each other,” I said, trying to convince my brother I could do this.

“Alright,” my brother agreed. “I’ll do this for you on one condition. Whoever I choose, you can’t change your mind at the altar. I will be making promises to a father and his daughter. You can’t break that promise once it’s been made.”

“The only thing I ask in return is you do not choose Mrs. Campion or someone similar to her. I do not wish to marry someone whose only goal in life is to make others feel less than her. I would not be able to stomach her being my wife.”

“Understood.”

I begrudgingly finished out the night, dancing with a handful of other hopeful, doe-eyed young ladies. As the night ended, many families lingered, watching and waiting for any sign of my attraction. I had come to the conclusion I would never find someone else attractive. However, I could find comfort in having a wife who wished to simply have the security of a husband. I could live with that type of arrangement as Arthur has. 

Within days, Arthur had selected a young lady for me to marry. He attempted to encourage me to meet her and spend some time with her. I refused. I didn’t wish to make any false assumptions about what my true intentions for this marriage were. 

When I told my mother about my forthcoming wedding, she was overjoyed and suddenly had a burst of energy. I wished I could share her enthusiasm. However, all I felt was regret and irritation. I knew I had to do this. I knew it’s what was right. I just felt sick about it. I kept believing that despite my marriage or even Charlotte’s marriage, somehow our paths would cross again, and we could rekindle what we once shared. For now, I had to do my part. 

On the day of the wedding, I could barely pull myself out of the bed. The thought of what I had convinced myself to do was finally hitting me, and I was regretting my decision. I stood in front of the church, trying desperately to find air for my lungs. Seemed as though all air had disappeared, making it hard to breathe normally. 

My mother gently kissed me on the cheek, expressing her excitement and joy for what was to come. I had done a fairly good job of convincing her I was happy with the girl I had chosen. From what she was told, I had met her at the ball, and we fell in love making the decision to marry as soon as possible. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know the girl’s name, or her family, or anything about her really. All my mother could care about was that her last son was getting married. She never asked for any details about the girl. 

“This is working out perfectly,” Lord Babington expressed excitedly. Look how many people have shown up to witness the wedding of the famous Mr. Sidney Parker? This is bound to be headline news. I have arranged an interview with the newspaper after the wedding. Please remember to mention our business arrangements.”

“How could I forget? I’m reminded daily of what my role in all of this is. I am ultimately marrying a stranger for the sake of this railway,” I reminded.

He laughed. “And I do appreciate your sacrifice.” He patted me on the back before walking into the church. 

Arthur and Tom approached me next. “Are you ready for married life, brother,” Tom teased.

“Is anyone ever ready?” I responded. 

He laughed and nodded his head in agreement. “I suppose you’re right. Though, there always seems to be a woman who can turn a man’s head at some point in his life.” He walked past me and gathered his wife to walk into the church together. Thinking on what he said, Mary had been that woman for him. She loved him fully as did he for her. He would do just about anything for her. 

“Are you sure you don’t wish to meet the girl beforehand?” Arthur asked. “Her father is eager to meet you as well.”

“Her father?” I asked, thinking how terribly awkward a conversation with the father of a girl I didn’t know might be. “There’s plenty of time for introductions after the wedding.”

He reluctantly nodded his head and headed into the church with Georgiana on his arm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing myself to go through with this. I could hear a carriage approaching, which I could only assume must be the bride’s family. Instead of waiting around to meet them, I headed into the church and took my place at the front. The vicar stood in front of me with a wide grin on his face. I looked around the room of all the smiling faces. I couldn’t face them, knowing their happiness was dependent on my desolation. I began to truly wonder what I had got myself into. In my drunken state at that ball, I had made a decision that was bound to change my path in life forever. I was doubtful it would turn out to be a happy path.

The church doors opened, and who I had to believe were the young lady’s family members walked in taking seats near the front. The mother of the girl gave me a pleasant smile. The wretched feeling of dread hit my stomach when this woman smiled at me. I was about to take their daughter from them and force her into a marriage of convenience. This was to be a loveless marriage where there was never to be grandchildren or happiness. The girl and potentially the family were bound to resent me. Did I even think how this would affect the young girl? She was not going to find happiness with a dejected man like myself. I was bound to bring her a life of misery.

I turned away from the crowd, closing my eyes and willing myself to go through with this. I had made a promise to Arthur not to change my mind. I had to believe I could do this. I had to believe the young girl and her family knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. With my eyes closed, all I could see was Charlotte. All I could think about was what could have been if I had only faced her father that day and begged him for forgiveness before asking him for his daughter’s hand in marriage. How different my life would be if I were marrying Charlotte instead of a stranger. 

I gasped for air as I heard the approaching steps of the lady with her father. I could feel her arm brush against mine as she took her place next to me in front of the vicar. My eyes remained closed as he began to speak of marriage and what all it entailed. I was finding it hard to focus on anything he spoke. All I wanted to do was run. I wanted to go back to that cabin where I could be in Charlotte’s arms and feel safe once again.

“Mr. Parker, please turn towards your bride and take her hands in yours,” the vicar instructed. “The thought of another woman’s hands in mine was unbearable. I only ever wanted Charlotte’s hands in mine. Unwilling to fully grasp what was happening, I turned my body, eyes still closed and breathing nearly nonexistent now. A ringing sound filled my ears and everything around me seemed to be moving in slow motion. 

“Hold my hands.” The whisper of a familiar voice filled my head. My eyes shot open and looking down at the hands held out in front of me was the familiar wooden ring on the girl’s finger. My heart raced with fear. My mind was clearly playing tricks on me. I had truly gone mad. I couldn’t find it in me to look at her face. I was sure I would only find disappointment when the girl I was imaging would end up being someone else entirely. 

She gently slipped her hands in mine and the warmth of her touch filled me with hope. I slowly rose my head, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat and scanning the girl for familiarity. Everything about her was right. When my eyes settled on hers, she smiled and suddenly everything in the world was right again. I nearly fell over from the overwhelming feelings inside of me. I didn’t care if my mind was playing tricks on me. I didn’t care if I was mad. All that mattered was Charlotte was standing in front of me, becoming my wife. 

“I told you I’d find you,” she whispered. A tear fell from her eye as she smiled happily at me.

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as we joyfully said our vows and exchanged rings. My face was sore from the grin planted on my face. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs for all to hear that this was Charlotte. This was the woman I loved and would always love. This was the woman who had saved me in more ways than one. 

I wanted nothing more than for the vicar to finish so I could have a moment alone with Charlotte. I wanted to find out what all had transpired to bring her here to me. I wanted to kiss her and feel her to know she was real. 

When the vicar finally finished and announced us as husband and wife, I waited impatiently as the crowd of people began to leave the church. We were called over to a small desk to sign the marriage decree. I reluctantly let go of her hand only long enough for her to sign the document.

Once we were finally alone, I kissed her. I held her face in my hands and kissed her like I hadn’t seen her in weeks. I kissed her as if I never wanted to part from her again. I kissed her as if she was actually real in front of me. “How is this possible? Am I dreaming?” I asked, still holding her face in my hands.

“No,” she cried. “Turns out men don’t like marrying young ladies who are pregnant with another man’s child.”

The wind was knocked from my lungs at the words that left her mouth. “My child?” I asked breathlessly.

“Of course,” she laughed. “Whose child could it possibly be but yours? I knew it was possible I would become pregnant. It seemed like the only escape from marrying the vile man I was being forced to marry. I had no intentions of falling in love with you in the process.”

“I don’t understand.” My arms dropped to my sides as I tried to make sense of her words.

She sighed and gently caressed my cheek with her hand. “When I started to see you had feelings for me, I decided it was my only option to seduce you. I would become pregnant so I wouldn’t have to marry. I never planned to fall in love with you, but I did. I felt terrible for deceiving you and the regret I felt for doing what I did was overwhelming. I wanted us to be together, but I knew if we were you would ultimately be giving up your family and subjecting them to a life of poverty. I couldn’t hold that burden as well. I thought it was for the best to let you go. I wasn’t prepared for the repercussions of my decision.”

“You were going to have our child without me?” I asked feeling a slight anger build inside of me.

Fresh tears streamed down her face as she stared at me with hopeful eyes. “My father will kill you if he knows you are actually the father of my baby. I need you to understand. When Arthur found me, he asked if I knew you. He asked if I was the Charlotte who had stolen his brother’s heart. I couldn’t lie to him. Together, we concocted a plan. I started planting seeds in my father’s mind about who you were by making sure the papers were always present when he was around. I brought up the famous cat slayer in every conversation. He began to truly respect and admire you as a man. I formed a friendship with Georgiana and with her help we convinced my father I could marry for convenience to save my family from ruin. He was appalled at what I had done and nearly forbid me from stepping foot into my family home in fear I would bring shame to the entire family. Georgiana explained that her brother-in-law was looking for such an arrangement. When my father heard it was the one and only Sidney Parker, he instantly took interest. Arthur and Georgiana made all the arrangements so we could marry. Right now, my father believes we are meeting for the first time. You have to make him think we don’t know each other like we do.”

“I don’t know if that’s possible,” I admitted, pulling her flush against me and feeling as if I was the luckiest man in the world. I kissed her again, holding her in my arms and truly feeling happiness for the first time in weeks. 

“We have a lifetime to be together. For one day, I ask you to pretend you are meeting me for the first time,” she begged.

“I don’t plan to let go of your hand,” I said. “I will do my best to make everyone believe I am just meeting you. But I won’t be able to let go. If I do, you may very well disappear.”

She smiled, tightening her arms around me. “I don’t ever plan to leave your side again. I have missed you terribly. I could hardly contain my excitement for today. My father believed it was simply nerves, but I wasn’t nervous. I was eager to be with you again and always be with you for as long as we both shall live.”

“Always.” We kissed and truly felt the overwhelming joy we were both feeling. How everything happened and led us to this moment, I will never understand. Yet here we were getting everything we had both ever dreamed of.

When we emerged from the church, hand in hand, crowds of people we didn’t know cheered. I had to find Arthur and Georgiana first and foremost. Charlotte and I weaved through the crowds and found my brothers with their wives along with my mother. 

I reached out one arm and hugged my brother tightly. He had always been the screwup, the one no one thought would amount to anything, the one we all secretly detested for his strange ways. Yet, he was the one who saved us all. I owed him everything. “Thank you,” I whispered.

“We’re brothers. You would do the same for me,” he said nonchalantly. I don’t think he truly understood just how much what he did meant to me. I only hoped that someday I’d be able to repay him for all he had done.

I pulled away from him and wiped at my eyes as guarded as possible. It didn’t go unnoticed to Charlotte. She tightened her hand around mine and rubbed my arm with her other hand in a comforting way. 

“I’d like all of you to meet Charlotte. My wife,” I said proudly. My mother’s eyes fixated on mine while everyone else greeted her with curtsies or bows. I simply nodded my head with a grin on my face for my mother to understand. She came closer and pulled both of us in for a hug. She didn’t say anything, but she knew this was my Charlotte.

“I want you to meet my family,” Charlotte said excitedly. The thought of meeting her father caused a wave of fear wash over me. I wondered if I’d be able to convince him I didn’t know Charlotte until this very moment. She pulled me through the crowd and introduced me to her family. “This is my father, Charles Heywood and my mother, Helena Heywood. This is my sister, Alison Heywood and all the kids running around in the yard are the rest of my siblings. I’ll introduce them more formally when they aren’t running around.”

“It’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Parker. We have read all about your adventures with the wild cat in the papers.”

“The pleasure is all mine. I am pleased you agreed to letting your daughter marry me,” I said.

He laughed and glanced between me and Charlotte. “When your brother approached me about Charlotte marrying you for convenience, I was quite flabbergasted. Why on earth would someone of your stature want to marry a simple girl from the country in her condition? We have nothing to offer, nor does she. He insisted you wanted someone simple and explained the reasons behind your wishes to marry someone for convenience purposes. Seems to me it’s more of an inconvenience, a burden you have brought upon yourself.” 

I glanced at Charlotte who seemed hurt by his words. Her head hung in shame. I didn’t like the way he spoke of her. “I can think of quite a few reasons I wished to marry her. She’s not a burden, nor is she an inconvenience. She’s much more than I could have ever dreamed of.” Charlotte stared at me with wide eyes as if warning me. “I’ll take good care of her, sir.”

“I’m sure you will,” he said as if questioning my intentions suddenly. I was beginning to wonder if I had said too much and he suspected there was more to our connection. At this point, I no longer cared. Charlotte and I were married. There was nothing he could do now. 

The rest of the day was a blur. Of course, Lord Babington was persistent about doing an interview with the paper about our marriage. I had plenty to say about my new bride, and I made sure to slip in mentions of the railway. 

At the end of the long day, we returned to the home of my brother. I whisked Charlotte to my room as quickly as I could. Once alone, my lips crashed into hers with a passionate and needful kiss. I needed to feel her, to hold her, to be a part of her, so I could convince myself even further that she was real, and she was mine. 

I turned her around and started untying the strings holding her dress. She giggled when I gave up and ripped it instead. Layer after layer, I either yanked it off of her or ripped it off. I couldn’t get to skin fast enough. Once she was bare in front of me, my hands slipped around her and held her close. At last, I was home. I picked my bride up in my arms and carried her to the bed, laying her naked body down in front of me. I marveled at her beauty for a moment while I removed the rest of my clothing. Starting at her ankles, I left trails of kisses up both of her legs, across her stomach where our child now resided, across her breasts, along her neck and chin until I reached her lips.

“I’ve missed you,” she whispered. “It’s been unbearable without you.”

“We never have to be parted again,” I assured, kissing her again. 

Not knowing exactly what was right with her pregnant body, I let her lead. I laid next to her and gently caressed her skin with my fingers while we kissed. Eventually, she crawled on top of me and took my cock in hand, slipping down around me like she had many times before. We both moaned in unison at our connection. I took a deep breath and stared up at her as she started to move up and down on me. My hips rose and fell with hers. The air filled with our pleasurable moans as we continued. We both came hard as if it had been far too long for both of us. In all truth, it had been too long. We had been separated for too long and I had every intention of never parting from her again. 

I held her warm body in my arms, feeling entirely content. Our fingers playfully danced with each other, before linking fully. “Are you happy it was me you were marrying today?” she asked. 

I chuckled and tightened my hold around her body. “I don’t think it’s possible to be happier. I love you, Charlotte. I don’t know if I could have gone through with it if it hadn’t been you standing next to me at the front of the church. When I saw the ring I had made you sitting on the table when I went back to the cabin, I thought it was a sign for me to let you go.”

She sighed and rubbed my arm. “It was. I thought I was doing the right thing for you. I didn’t want to be a burden to you. I didn’t want to be the reason you would ruin your family.”

I sat there for a moment, thinking about what she said. “I would have given my family up for you,” I admitted. “I know it’s exactly what you were thinking you were preventing, but I would have. You are far more important to me than anyone else.” I slipped my hand around her waist and placed my open hand against her stomach. “You and our child are my family. You are what’s important now.”

She turned in my arms and stared at me with saddened eyes. “I never would have let you.”

“I know. But I would have, all the same.”

Five Years Later 

Charlotte and I settled on a small estate in the countryside. We were still close enough to Sanditon, so we were able to visit my brothers and Charlotte was able to continue her friendship with Georgiana. We were also close enough to Charlotte’s family that we were blessed with visits from them quite often. However, we were far enough away from the outside world, that at times it felt as if we were still secluded in the cabin. It’s what we had both wanted and dreamed of. 

Our first child was a little boy we named Charles, whom we named after Charlotte’s father. He adored his grandson and had become quite fond of me. He never imagined his daughter would be so utterly happy in a marriage of convenience. He thought we would learn to tolerate each other, and his daughter would be cared for while saving the rest of his children from ruin. He never imagined I would love her and care for her child as well as I did. He thought me a much stronger man than himself to love a child that wasn’t mine by blood. Feeling entirely guilty about continually lying to him, we decided to tell him the truth. Shortly after Charles was born, we sat Charlotte’s father down and explained the entire story. He was shocked, obviously. For a while, he seemed to be truly appalled by me. Although, when he held his namesake in his arms, he seemed to soften rather quickly. I think in time, he realized how truly lucky his daughter was to be loved so fully by the man who had fathered her child. Our marriage wasn’t simply a convenience. Our marriage was built on mutual love and affection for each other. He seemed to have taken solace in that fact.

My mother adored Charlotte and was thrilled I had found my joy once again. She had also beat the odds and survived through the winter even though the doctor insisted her demise was imminent. She held on until her first grandchild was born. She too loved her grandson. Even though her strength had deteriorated detrimentally, she still found the will to hold her grandson and love on him for as long as she could. She took her last breath three months after his birth. She said the greatest joy in her life was seeing her sons all happy in their own ways and being privileged to receive the trusting smiles from her grandson. 

A year after Charles was born, we were blessed with a second child we named Margaret after my mother. It seemed only fitting we name our daughter after her when she was born. She was a spunky little thing who never let her older brother get the better of her. She may be small, but she was feisty. Even at three years old she loved to hunt just like her mother and I did. I knew she was going to grow up to be a strong and wise young lady. I also knew I would never subject her or any of her siblings to a life where she must marry for any reason other than being in love.

Now, five years later, Charlotte and I were as happy as we ever could be. She was my light, my joy, my peace, my reason for living. If it was possible to love her more than I did, I would. She had given me everything I had ever dreamed of. I only hoped I had given her a small part of what she had always wished for. I believed I had.

The railway I had gotten myself involved in had not taken off as quickly as Lord Babington and Mr. Crowe had hoped it would, but I still kept my involvement in the project and continued my friendship with both of the men. Perhaps someday my involvement would pan out in a more favorable way.

On a particular day, I was reminded of an image I had while Charlotte and I were at the cabin and realized just how real my vision had become. I chopped wood for the fire while Charlotte walked towards me with our third child, another little boy named Jonah, on her hip. Little Charles and Margaret chased chickens in the distance, playing freely and happily in a home filled with love and joy. 

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as bleak as everyone assumed it was going to be was it? Thanks for sticking through all the angst to get to this happy ending. I know I was close to losing a few of you.
> 
> Who was screaming at their screens for Sidney not to go through with the wedding, and who knew it was going to be Charlotte walking down that aisle?
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who reads my stories and leaves such wonderful comments. I absolutely adore all of you. You all fill me with so much joy.


End file.
